


Happy belated Thanksgiving, Fraser

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: M/M, Romance, Slash, Thanksgiving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-12-01
Updated: 2000-12-01
Packaged: 2018-11-10 16:33:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11130531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: A wierd twist to Kowalski's and Fraser's Thanksgiving.





	Happy belated Thanksgiving, Fraser

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Disclaimer: Not my characters because they to belong to Alliance, but I love to use them in this other loving way.

Rating : NC/17

Pairing: Benton Fraser and Ray Kowalski

Thanks to: _My other boys. The Sammy's_.

Notes: Okay, this story is a belated Thanksgiving story. Same rules apply. Like the story, greatness! Don't like the story? Not so greatness but that's okay too. Word of warning: None of my stuff is beta-ed just so you'll know. Should anyone care to post this story elsewhere can do so with my permission but I'd like to know for "knowing purposes." Y'all, enjoy. 

jackson.maria 

**Happy belated Thanksgiving, Fraser**

Fraser stirred in his seat then jerked up when he realized he was about to fall off the chair. He sat up and felt the stiffness in his neck. Sitting up straight he proceeded to rotate his head to release the tension at the base of his neck. He glanced over at his partner who was still asleep in the hospital bed. The tubes and wires coming and going to all parts of his body made him look like some weird scientific experiment. Fraser got up, smoothed down his red serge, stretched his legs then ambled over to Ray's bedside. Ray was still asleep. He had been asleep for three days now after being struck down by a truck while in pursuit of a suspect down the street. The doctor had been hopeful when Ray was brought in but Fraser now worried because Ray had not roused since the emergency surgery to remove his spleen. The Mountie reached over and brushed away the strands of hair on Ray's forehead. He grimaced when he saw those dark bruises that covered the entire forehead on the left side of his partner's face. Fraser took a deep breath and gazed at his slumbering partner then recalled the events that proceeded the accident. To Fraser it had started with the screeching of the truck's tires and a loud thud that followed thereafter. He remembered seeing Ray's body ascend high into the air in slow motion then time accelerated to almost fast forward as Ray descended fast landing right smack in the middle of the street with a loud crack. Fraser remembered his body and heart froze in place for a split-second before bolting over to his partner's side as soon as he got his legs to move. He remembered running to Ray feeling as if his legs were stuck in quicksand. There had been lots blood mostly springing from Ray's mouth and nose and the onlookers had gathered quickly. He remembered hearing someone summoning for help and someone else calling for an ambulance on a cell phone while he checked Ray's vitals. The delay had seemed forever waiting for the ambulance to arrive but in reality it had been only three minutes. Ray had been rushed to the nearest hospital and immediately scheduled for emergency surgery. His parents had been notified and had granted permission for the surgery. Fraser had sat in the waiting room, clueless as to any happenings because the staff refused to divulge any information concerning his partner's progress. He was told that since he was not related nor was he the next of kin he would have to ask someone who was a family member. Being as upset and tense as he was, he didn't try to entreat anyone for information. It had seemed an eternity for the Mountie to wait for Ray's parents to arrive and enlighten him to Ray's progress. Ray would be fine. The surgery had taken several hours but Ray would be fine was what the doctors had prognosticated.

"Ray? . . .Ray, it's me, Fraser . . . Ray, please talk to me. The doctors said you would be fine so please wake up and talk, Ray."

The detective slept soundly. He laid there with eyes shut and didn't even stir except for his quiet breathing. 

Fraser recalled being allowed to enter and see him right after the surgery. His parents had gone home to get some rest after the exhausting ordeal. He remembered standing beside the bed watching the detective and he also remembered that he hadn't shed a tear. Maybe it was shock? He didn't know why he hadn't cried but he did know that he was distraught and overwrought with pain and guilt and he was also scared. For once he was terribly scared that he almost lost his partner and best friend to an absurd accident. But for now, the waiting was going on three days and Ray still slept on. Now he felt a single tear escape the brim of his eye and rolled down his cheek then leaped off his jawbone. The tear came three days late but nonetheless it came. He was angry with himself for appearing so cold and heartless to the others around him but this was how he was raised. He was taught to show no fear or emotions concerning most things in his life. He was an only child being raised by grandparents who, although loved him dearly, had little time for displays of affection. He appeared emotionless to the outside world but inside he was still human. Inside he was riddled with pain and guilt for his partner. 

Stella had arrived during the surgery and there had been many tears from her. His mother had cried too and even Ray's father had shed some tears and that was understandable because Ray was their son. Frannie of course, being Ray's forced upon sister, had her share of tears also. But what Fraser remembered the most was when Stella had cried because he remembered hating her. He felt she had no right to any part of Ray after all she had put him through. After all the turn-downs, rude and inconsiderate remarks she had inflicted on his partner, during their short time of working together, but here she was crying. He didn't consider her to have any kind of tie to Ray, whether she deemed herself a friend, or even an acquaintance but still she had cried. With tear-filled eyes she turned and looked at the Mountie. "Has he said anything? Has he opened his eyes at all Constable?"

Fraser looked up from where he sat and shook his head dismally. "No, he hasn't moved since he has arrived."

She wiped at her eyes and blew into her handkerchief and Fraser hated her as he sat there and watched. He couldn't believe how angry and hateful he felt. But, in reality, he was angry with himself because he felt he was the one that should be crying and not his exwife.

She spoke up again. "I have to leave now Constable but will you call me once he is conscious? I would love to see him when he wakes."

Fraser didn't want her around and wanted to tell her so. He wanted her to leave and never come back. He wanted to hurt her just the way she had hurt his friend. But that was not in him. He would never do or say anything that was un-Mountie like and out of character. He took a deep breath and it hurt him deep inside to say it, but he said it. "I will notify you of any change's Attorney Kowalski."

She nodded and then reached down and kissed her exhusband's forehead. 

Fraser flinched at the gesture but was thankful once she left. He walked over to the sleeping detective and stared down at his pacified face. Pulling at the sleeve of his Serge he wiped the kiss away from Ray's face and mumbled. "She doesn't deserve someone like you Ray. I don't know why she even bothers to come around . . . she doesn't care about you, not like I do. I'm sorry Ray but I just don't like her."

So now here he was late evening and still looking at Ray sleep peacefully. The nurses, doctors and family had come and gone and Ray still slept on.

Fraser adjusted the TV, not that Ray would notice then reached over to fluff the pillows again. He gasped when Ray reached up and grabbed his wrist. "Fraser."

Fraser's breath caught in his throat. "Ray! Ray, you're awake!" he almost grabbed his partner in an embrace but years of exercising control over his emotions stopped him.

Fraser noticed those blues dart around the room trying to figure out where he was. 

"You're in a hospital, Ray. If you recall you were struck down by a truck and . . . The doctors said that you would be fine but you . . . how do you feel?" the Mountie fought the urge to touch him, to hug him.

Ray mumbled. "I'm in pain . . . , did they cut me up?"

Fraser nodded. "Yes. They had to do emergency surgery. But you are doing well Ray. Let me go and get the doctor so. . . . "

"No. . Not yet . . . Fraser? . . Why do I know your name and I can't even remember mine? You keep calling me Ray. Is Ray my name?"

Fraser was stunned. "What?"

"I know your name . . . it's Fraser . . . but I don't know who I am . . . and what I'm doing here."

This alarmed the Mountie and he decided to go for the doctor. "Let me go and get a doctor Ray."

The doctor came and examined Ray and found him to be doing well under the circumstances except for what he called the minor problems of memory loss that should disappear within a few hours to a few months.

"What do you mean by a few months Doctor and why does he remember only me?" Fraser asked feeling concerned. 

"Constable, you must recall that the man did land on his head, on the cement. He was very fortunate that there was no permanent brain damage, or swelling of the brain and only a minor concussion when he was brought in. He is fortunate also that his only problems are minimal memory loss after what he's been through. As for only remembering you, I would have to say that the two of you must share a close bond because I don't know how else to explain it. . . . Have his parents been notified?"

Fraser shook his head. "No, because I wanted to approve it with you first."

The Doctor reached into his notepad and pulled out a calling card. "Here you go. His exwife, Attorney Kowalski requested that she be notified the minute he woke up. This number here is her pager number Constable. You need to call her also."

Fraser stared at the card, then took it and smiled. "Yes, of course I will notify her Doctor Stevens."

Ray had been flipping through the channels on the television and was now bored with it. "Hey doc? So when can I leave this place?"

"I'll let you know later, Detective Kowalski. Goodbye now."

"No wait!" Ray called but the doctor left. "Hey Fraser, come 'ere."

Fraser stepped closer to the bed. "Yes Ray?"

"Don't call me Ray anymore. Call me . . . call me something like . . . Al or Tad. I like those names 'cause they're easier to remember."

Fraser smiled. "But your name isn't Al or Tad, it's Ray. Now, I am going to call your parents and . . . "

"And my exwife . . . I have an exwife also, right? Cause I heard the doctor say so. Is she cute Fraser, cause if she is, then give her a ring too?! But if she's ugly and monstrous then forget it!"

Fraser grimaced then turned away. "Yes of course, Ray."

"Hey, I saw that face Fraser! If she's ugly then don't call her!"

Fraser turned away and dialed Ray's parents first and then the Attorney.

"Hello, you have reached Attorney Kowalski's office and how can I be of help to you?"

"Hello. My name is Constable Benton Fraser and I am trying to locate Attorney Kowalski please."

"Attorney Kowalski is not in at the moment. Would you care to leave a name and a number where she can reach you?"

Fraser looked to Ray who was getting up. "Where do you think you are you going?"

Ray pulled off the sheets and sat on the edge of the bed. "Whoa! The room is spinning Fraser! I'm gonna use the can."

Fraser grabbed him by the forearms and held him still. "You're not supposed to be getting up, doctors' orders. Here, take this because you are supposed to use this."

Ray flinched. "A bedpan?! Hell no! You use it!"

"But I don't need to go and besides . . . I'm not the one that was struck by the truck. Now get back into bed and use this."

"No! I'm not gonna use that! Just help me get to the bathroom Fraser."

"Ray!"

"Fraser! . . .And it's Al."

"Oh, very well, but hold on a second . . . Ray. I'm sorry ma'am. Could you just have Attorney Kowalski call the hospital? It is in regards to her exhusband who just woke up from his coma. Thank you kindly." And he hung up.

"Hurry up Fraser 'cause I gotta pee!"

Fraser snaked an arm around his partner's waist and pulled him up straight.

Ray swayed and nearly fell forward but Fraser caught hold of him. "Ray! You should be using the bedpan. You're not supposed to be up just yet."

"It's Tad and you use the damn thing . . . now get me ta the bathroom and make it quick Fraser 'cause I'm gonna piddle all over yer nice shiny boots if you don't."

Fraser sighed then escorted him into the bathroom. "Okay we're here and now what?"

Ray glanced over at him. "Whadda ya mean by what? You can leave now. I can't pee with you staring at me."

Fraser shook his head. "That's not a good idea because if I release you, you are going to fall."

"No, I'm not, now let go of me."

Fraser released him and Ray fell forwards but Fraser grabbed him quickly wrapping both arms around his waist. "Take it easy!"

"Okay fine . . . You can stay here but at least turn around so I can have some privacy!"

Fraser nodded. "Yes, of course."

He kept one arm wrapped around the detective's waist and swivelled his body sideways. He then covered his eyes with his free hand. "Okay, go ahead, Ray."

"It's Al and . . . oh shit! What the fuck is this!"

Fraser turned to look. It was pure impulse that made him look. 

"Fraser!"

He looked away quickly. "I-I'm sorry Ray! I thought that maybe something had happened. That's a catheter."

"Y-You mean this is like a pee-bag? And they stuck that tube all the way . . . Jesus! I must've been really knocked out when they did this ta me 'cause I never would, allow something like this while I was awake!"

"You must have the tube pinched somewhere along the line for you to have the need to empty your bladder. Let me get you back into the bed Ray."

"Uh, uh . . . I'm gonna take this shit off."

Fraser reached over and grabbed his hand. "Is that a wise thing to do? You do realize you will have to pull the tube out from inside of you? You don't know if there is pain involved after the removal."

Ray looked down at the hand grasping his hand and his own hand holding his penis. "Fraser . . . I don't need a hand job if you don't mind."

Fraser looked at his hand then pulled it off quickly. Blushing profusely he mumbled. I-I . . . So sorry Ray . . . I wasn't . . . I . . . it was . . . "

Ray cracked up laughing. "Hey! It's okay . . . you were just trying ta be helpful, I can understand that. I can tell yer not the gay type anyway so don't let it bother ya . . . besides yer right. I don't want to find out that it's painful . . . just get me back to the bed okay?"

"Um . . . yes, of course." Fraser was still blushing as he helped Ray hobble back out. He pushed the door open and was stunned to see Ray's parents standing there already. 

Barbara Kowalski, Ray's mom was ecstatic to see her son and rushed over to him. "Oh Stanley! Oh my God but your awake and walking! Oh my poor baby!" She wrapped her arms around him and held him tight. She was squeezing the breath out of him thought Ray until she stepped back and wiped at her tears before excitedly adding. "Let me see you! Oh, but you look so good, a little thin, but so good! Doesn't he look so good, Damien?!"

Ray was grinning from ear to ear as this nice lady was all over him, touching his face, his hair and kissing his cheeks. 

Fraser maintained a hold around Ray's waist holding him in place. 

Ray looked over at the older man standing behind her fidgeting around looking both nervous and relieved. 

"Damien! Come and hug your son, Damien! Look at him! Our Stanley's going to be just fine!"

Damien stepped forward and at first shook Ray's hand. After a few seconds he wrapped his arms around Ray and gave him a tight squeeze then backed away quickly and stuck his hands back into his pockets as he hid behind his wife.

Fraser then helped Ray get back into the bed. He was covering his partner when Ray grabbed his Serge and pulled him close to whisper in his face. "Fraser . . . I don't know who these people are so don't leave me alone with them! And why is she calling me Stanley? I thought my name was Ray."

It alarmed Fraser that Ray didn't recognize his parents. He then whispered. "Your mom calls you Stanley . . . I'll explain later."

Fraser stepped back and allowed Barbara to do her motherly duties, fluffing the pillow, pinching his cheek, kissing him and making small talk. 

Ray finally complained about being tired and wanting to sleep so they finally left.

"Fraser? Are they gone?"

Fraser got off the chair. "Ray . . . I thought you were asleep."

"No, I just wanted them to leave before they figured out that I didn't know who they were. Fraser, I'm supposed to be having Thanksgiving dinner with them in a few days and I don't even know who they are! I barely know who you are or who I am! All I know is that yer name is Fraser and I'm supposedly this Ray Stanley and I'm a detective somewhere in Chicago. Are you my best friend?"

"Well . . . I'd like to believe that I am . . . We have been partners for over a year now."

"Okay, but why are you wearing that red uniform? Are you like a Marine or something?"

Fraser smiled. "No, I'm a Canadian Constable who came to Chicago on the trail of . . . never mind . . . I work in liaison with the Chicago Police Department so therefore I work with you. You and I are partners in the Chicago Police department remember?"

There was a soft knock and Stella rushed in. "Oh my God Ray but you are awake!"

She hurried in and embraced her exhusband. 

Ray looked up at Fraser, smiled and mouthed. "Who is this?" 

Fraser stepped back and didn't respond.

Ray was puzzled by the sudden change in his partner. He was puzzled by the cold, scowling look in the Mountie's face.

Fraser murmured. "I took the liberty of calling Attorney Stella Kowalski, your exwife as soon as I had a chance to Ray. She did request that she be notified of any changes."

Ray cocked an eyebrow at the Mountie obviously pleased that his exwife wasn't as ugly as he thought and then he smiled as she held him tight. 

"Oh Ray! Your parents and I were so worried about you! This was such a horrible nightmare but thank God you are all right now! This will make the holidays so much better now!"

Ray looked up at the pretty woman that was pushing his hair off his face. He smiled at her and added. "I'm so glad that you came to see me, Stella. It's good to see you also."

"Not as glad as we are to have you back, Ray!" 

"Stella? Will you be coming to the Thanksgiving dinner at my mum's?"

She had already taken a seat on the bed beside Ray and fiddled with the drawstrings on his gown, tying them tight. "Well, I was going to have to work that day but after this happened I decided that I should be with you. Barbara invited me so I'll just call her and tell her that I'll be there for Thanksgiving after all. We do have something special to celebrate."

Ray smiled as he gazed into her eyes and held her hands. "That would be great Stella. . . .I can't wait."

Fraser glanced at them sitting close to each other, holding hands, staring into each other's eyes and couldn't stand any more of it so he turned to leave.

"Fraser?"

His hand was in midair reaching for the door when Ray called him. "Yes Ray?"

"Where are you going? You're not leaving are you?"

"Well, now that you have company, I thought that I should head back to the Consulate and . . ."

"No. . . . I mean, there's things that I have to discuss with you. Please don't go yet."

Fraser nodded. "Yes, of course Ray. I'll just wait in the lobby so you . . . "

"No. . . . Stella, could you please excuse me for now . . . I need ta rest. I'm sorry but I'm so exhausted after my parents . . . "

"It's okay Ray . . . I do have a case across town and I'm already late as it is. I'll come back to see you later tonight okay? You get some rest and take it easy all right?"

Ray nodded then reached up when Stella reached over to kiss him. 

Fraser looked away. 

She then came up to the Mountie and added. "Thank you for contacting me, Constable. I will be by later tonight to check on his progress."

Fraser saw that angry look in her face as she passed him heading outside. Why she was angry, he did not know.

"Fraser come 'ere."

The Mountie stepped over to the bed and sat down when Ray patted the place next to him. "You don't like her do you? I can see it in yer face . . . Is she a royal bitch?"

Fraser glanced at his partner and shook his head. "I can't say Ray. After all she is your exwife."

Ray smiled. "Well yeah, but I don't know her and you do . . . But ya gotta admit that she looks great! . . Except for the part about her being my exwife as in *ex* for a reason. Why did I divorce her?"

Fraser shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know the reason's because you never told me."

"Hm . . . well, maybe she'll have pity on me now and want to take me back. Whadda ya think? . .Have we tried to reconcile?"

Fraser observed him then shook his head. "I don't know Ray. I don't know much about your relationship with your exwife only that she doesn't want to reconcile with you."

"So I was that bad huh? Fraser, you are coming to the dinner at my parent's house right?"

The Mountie shook his head once again. "I wasn't invited."

Ray frowned. "But you have ta come . . . I can't do this by myself . . . I don't even know them!"

"Well you could tell them about your amnesia, Ray . . . I'm sure they will be very helpful and understanding."

"No. . . . I don't even know them so how can I tell them? . . . you will come with me won't you, Fraser?"

"I don't think that I should Ray . . . besides, you will be with your parents and your exwife and . . . "

"Yeah, but you're my best friend and you're the only one that I do know. Please?" he pleaded batting those blond lashes at his partner. 

Fraser stared at him then nodded. "Oh . . . very well . . . if you insist."

***************************************************************

Ray was released several days later with orders to get lots of rest and to remain at home. He was led up the stairs to his apartment by the Mountie. The detective's parents had wanted him at home but Ray was apprehensive about staying with people that he didn't know. Fraser helped his partner over to the couch. "Are you sure you shouldn't be over at your parents house Ray? It will be quite difficult for you to get around here and . . . "

"Hold on, Fraser . . . that's why I called ya over. I wanted ta ask ya fer a big favor. Since yer not married and you don't have attachments, I wanted ta know if you'd stay with me for a couple of days? Just till I get the feel of things. Whadda ya think? I don't wanna stay with people that I don't know and besides . . . I don't even remember this apartment either. I kinda need you around if you don't mind."

Fraser nodded. "Well . . . I don't see a problem with staying here, Ray. I can understand your dilemma. I can stay here for the meantime until you can get your bearings back. I'll just head back to the Consulate and collect some things and I'll be back shortly."

"Take the car. . . . It'll make it easier for you. I'll order something to eat. Do I have a phone and a phone book? . . . .Do I have cable Fraser?"

Fraser smiled and handed Ray his remote. "You have a phone, a phone book and yes, you do have cable."

Ray grabbed the remote and Fraser's hand at the same time and smiled. "Hey . . . yer a great buddy ta have around . . . Yer really okay, Fraser and I appreciate ya."

Fraser was stunned as Ray held onto his hand. He blushed and couldn't stop the smile from creeping into his face. "T-Thank you kindly Ray. Now . . . I do have to get going and I'll be back shortly. You stay indoors all right? I don't want anything to happen to you while I'm gone." Fraser pulled his hand away slowly.

Ray settled back into his couch. "No problem. Can't walk the stairs by myself anyway so I'll be okay."

Fraser nodded, got up and left.

***************************************************************

When he returned, he stepped in and saw his partner asleep on Stella's lap. 

They looked at each other wondering what each was doing there.

Fraser continued into the living room with this back pack. "Good evening Attorney Kowalski."

"Hello Constable, are you moving in?"

Fraser dropped his back pack on the floor beside the couch then took a seat in the armchair. "I'm going to be staying here for a few days. Ray thought it would be difficult for him to move around so he requested for me to stay."

Stella turned away and brushed her fingers through Ray's golden spikes as she looked down at him sleep. She then looked up at the Mountie. "I told him to go and stay with his mother but the man can be so stubborn at times . . . He should be there with her you know. Maybe you could convince him to go. Sometimes he only listens to you. I don't know why he does, but he does."

Fraser caught the sarcasm in the last sentence. He ignored it and nodded. "I will talk to him and do my best to convince him to stay with his mother. Now . . . if you will excuse me. I should unpack." He got up and started off toward his backpack.

Stella maneuvered her way out from under Ray and added. "I have to run now. Will you let him know that I'll return tomorrow to see how he is doing? And this time . . . keep a closer eye on him."

Fraser turned to catch her glaring at him."Yes . . . of course." Was all he could say. Then she left. Fraser locked the door behind her and leaned into it wondering what the Attorney meant by her innuendoes. He looked over at the sleeping man on the couch and then mumbled. "Maybe staying here isn't going to be a good idea. This might not work out after all."

Fraser went to shower and dressed into jeans and a white pullover. He heard the doorbell and hurried to answer it. 

"Hello there . . . I have one large pepperoni with extra cheese all ready for you. That'll be $12.55 sir."

"Oh . . . Would you please hold on a minute and let me go and get the money?"

"Sure . . . no problem."

Fraser hurried over to his Stetson and pulled out the only ten-dollar bill he had. He glanced over at his sleeping partner then hurried over to him. Fraser was about to wake him, but Ray looked so peaceful and serene so he decided not to. He had noticed the detective's wallet sticking out of his back pocket and decided to borrow the money for the pizza instead. Pulling the wallet out carefully Fraser then rummaged through it and found a ten-dollar bill. Fraser was pulling the money out of the wallet when it slipped from his hands and fell to the floor. A flicker of red caught his eye when he was reaching for it. Flipping it open he noticed a photo of himself dressed in his Red serge and Stetson. He didn't recall ever giving the detective a photo or recalled having posed for the photo. He looked at it closely and noticed that he was sitting on the edge of Ray's desk and he was smiling rather jovially. Flipping the photo over he noticed the writing on the back and started to read it. / _/My dear most wonderful lover! /_ / Fraser was stunned with the endearment and then the knocking at the door startled him. Pushing the photo back into its sleeve he closed the wallet and placed it back into Ray's pants hurrying over to pay the pizza. Returning with the pizza he placed it on the coffee table then went to the kitchen for some glasses. He served the drinks then returned and leaned down to wake the detective.

"Ray? . . .Ray? . . .Ray, wake up."

Ray only stirred.

Fraser grabbed a big slice of pizza then sat by his partner and wielded it under his nose. "Come on Ray. It's time to eat."

Ray took a whiff then stirred . . . two seconds later he took another whiff and his eyes popped open. He looked over and found the Mountie holding a large slice of pizza under his nose. Looking up he saw that huge, broad smile splayed across his partner's face and Ray smiled in return. "Gosh Fraser, but that sure smells great! I forgot that I ordered it and told them not ta start on it yet until an hour and a half later till I knew you'd be here . . . I wanted it ta be warm when ya got here. How long have you been gone, Fraser?" Ray took the slice of pizza from his partner and devoured it immediately.

Fraser smiled as he watched his partner munching on the second piece. "I've been gone for a while. . . . I hope you don't mind, but I had to borrow money from your wallet to pay for the pizza Ray . . . and I did notice that you had company when I returned."

Ray glanced over at him. "Oh yeah . . . she came by ta visit me. She's pretty cool Fraser . . . but what I can't understand is why don't you like her? You gotta admit that's she's pretty great looking too."

Fraser glanced at him and continued eating his pizza. He didn't comment.

Ray stopped eating. "Why don't you like her Fraser?"

Fraser put his pizza down and looked away. "Let's just say that we don't get along very well with each other Ray. I have never liked the way she's treated you around the precinct, or anywhere else for that matter and the Attorney isn't comfortable with my ways."

Ray sat back and munched on his pizza. "Well that pretty much covers everything, huh? She did mention that both of you weren't exactly the best of friends but I wondered why."

Fraser stared at his partner then looked away. "She did? . . .Well then, now you know. We don't get along well . . . have you talked about . . . a . . . reconciliation?"

Ray chugged down his soda and nodded. "Yeh . . . yeh we did earlier."

Fraser put his slice of pizza down and stared at his partner. "And?"

Ray noticed that worried look in his partner's face and stared into those dark grey-blues. "You don't want me to reconcile with her do you Fraser? . . . My mum happens ta like . . . well at least, Stella tells me so that my mum likes her. Do you know?"

"Ray . . . if you don't mind . . . I would rather not discuss Attorney Kowalski with you. What you do with her is none of my business and I really don't care to know."

Ray stared at the Mountie. "God, you really can't stand her, can you? . . . Okay . . . That's cool. But you are coming to the Thanksgiving dinner and you don't have a choice. Now about our sleeping arrangements. I'll take the couch and . . . "

"No. . I brought my duffle bag and I'll be sleeping on the floor. You take your bed because I'm sure your surgical stitches . . . "

"No, hey hold on a minute here . . . we can both fit on my bed. It's big enough fer the two of us and if it doesn't bother ya to sleep with me then . . . "

"Thank you kindly Ray . . . but I really am used to sleeping on the floor."

Ray gazed into those huge blues and didn't know what to make of his partner. "Fraser, I don't bite . . . much. . . .I mean, come on . . . I'm not gonna do you anything indecent! . . . I promise! You can even sleep with your uniform on all buttoned up and rope so I can't touch ya, okay?!"

Fraser smiled when Ray broke out laughing. "Oh very well . . . But I don't sleep in my uniform."

"That's okay with me just as long as you don't sleep in the nude 'cause that might present a problem since I can't remember where I put my condoms."

Fraser coughed, choking on a bite of pizza that he was in the process of swallowing.

Ray broke out laughing again and patted the Mountie's back. "Kidding! I was just kidding Fraser! God! You need ta loosen up some. Don't we kid around like this? Here, have some coke and wash it down."

The Mountie took a drink and cleared his throat. 

********************************************

Ray stood by as Fraser made the bed. Once the Mountie was through, he sat on the edge and pulled his tee over his head being mindful of the stitches but then he stopped. "Ouch! Stuck . . . I'm stuck! Hello there, but I'm stu-uck!"

Fraser came over noticing Ray's head was hidden somewhere inside the tee. "Let me help you." He reached for the T-shirt sleeves and pulled it off his partner being very careful not to tug or pull. "There you go."

Ray smiled and blinked at him then tried to reach down to remove his tennis. "Ouch."

Fraser smiled then dropped to his knees and added. "I'll get this for you Ray."

Ray glanced over at his partner and smiled. "I'm surely glad that yer here Fraser cause I couldn't do this without you, ya know."

Fraser pulled off one shoe and the sock and started on the next one. He couldn't resist asking. "Wouldn't you prefer having Attorney Kowalski do this instead?"

Ray glanced up at him and smiled. "Well yeh . . . but since she's not here and she's not volunteering then I'm glad that yer here."

Fraser nodded. "Understood." He pulled off the other shoe then sat back on his heels. 

Ray smiled then reached for his belt. "Wanna help me with this too?"

This made the Mountie nervous and he got up quicky then made his way around to the other side of the bed. He removed his boots and placed them beside the bed and felt the bed move as Ray made his way under the covers. Next he pulled off his pullover and heard the cat whistle coming from behind.

Fraser whirled around and stared at Ray.

Ray smiled and batted his eyelashes. "Whoa! . . . That's a really nice body! Do you lift weights?"

Fraser blushed a dark shade of tomato red and mumbled. "N-No . . . I don't have the time." He noticed Ray reclining into the headboard with hands behind his head smiling and staring at him. This made the Mountie uneasy so he turned away quickly, raised the covers and tucked himself into them.

Ray stared at him as he laid there staring up at the ceiling. 

Then he looked at the detective. "Ray? You're staring at me."

"Yeh, I know . . . I was just wondering why you don't have a girlfriend Fraser? It's not like yer ugly or anything. I mean, actually yer quite good looking. Handsome's more the word ta describe somebody like ya . . . You got a fantastic body, no doubt about that one and you got an awful pretty face too . . . The only problem I see with you is yer too damn nice. So why don't you have'a girlfriend buddy?"

The Mountie blushed again. "Ray . . . I'm just not ready for any kind of commitment."

Ray inched further down into the bed being careful of his surgery. "Well, ya don' t have ta be committed ta anyone to have a girlfriend Fraser. Is it 'cause yer too shy? Because every time I compliment you, you turn this shade of candy red and . . . So do you have sex? Do we talk about sex Fraser?""

Now the Mountie was really blushing. He hadn't expected his partner to be so candid and talkative tonight. "Ray, maybe we should get some sleep."

Then he saw Ray's eyes pop wide open as if someone had poked him with an electric probe. 

"Jesus! It just occurred ta me that yer gay! I mean, but it's the only logical explanation 'cause yer single, way too handsome, polite, tidy . . . yer gay, Fraser! Jesus! Are we lovers?! You and me, have we had sex before?!"

"Ray! I am not gay and you and I have never . . . could we get some sleep please!"

"Whe-e-e-ew! . . .I thought maybe I was gay and I was neglecting you, Fraser. I mean, I thought me and you were lovers and . . . But I can't be gay and have an exwife, right?"

"Really Ray . . . you need to get some sleep because now you are hallucinating."

Ray popped up again."I got it now! I'm bisexual! I got an exwife and I got you for a boyfriend!" he turned to his partner. "Am I lucky or what? So why aren't we having sex, Fraser?"

Fraser wore an incredulous look on his face as he stared at his partner then he smiled when Ray cracked up laughing.

"Oh God, but that look on yer face is priceless buddy! . . . I'm sorry Fraser . . . I don't mean ta freak you out. I'm just kidding. It's this bump on my head making me think all kinds of weird stuff. . . .Good night Fraser."

Fraser relaxed then clicked the lamp off and responded. "Good night Ray."

"Fraser?"

"Yes Ray?"

"Do you and I have kids together?"

"Ray."

"Night Fraser."

"Good night Ray."

"Fraser?"

"Yes?"

"Do you wanna have sex?"

"Ray!"

"Okay, okay! You don't have to get all bitchy and everything . . . I'd just thought I'd ask. . . .Night Fraser."

"Good night Ray."

"Of course, a hand job like the one ya tried to give me at the hospital would be nice Fraser."

"Good night Ray!"

"Okay."

****************************************************************

Fraser woke up in the middle of the night and the first thing he noticed was his partner wrapped around him like a blanket. An arm was wrapped around his waist, and a leg was draped across his crotch and Ray's face dug under his shoulder buried in his neck. He could feel the warm breath caressing his neck and the hard erection poking into the side of his hip. 

"Oh dear."

First thing he did was to remove the arm from around his waist. Then he lifted Ray's leg and placed it behind himself. He scooted away but was stunned when the detective's arm snaked its way back around his waist and then Ray spooned up behind him. Now the detective's erection was poking him right between the butt cheeks through his boxers. Not only was it poking him but Ray was pumping into him gently now. 

Fraser shut his eyes as his own penis came awake. This was not good. It was not good at all so he decided it was best not to move. He was perfectly still until Ray whispered into his ear. "Mmmm Stella . . . come on baby."

Now the Mountie bolted out of bed. 

Ray woke up immediately. "Wha-at? . . What's going on? Fraser? . . .are you okay? . . .Were you having a nightmare?"

Fraser glanced over at his partner as he sat back on the bed. There was no sense in alarming his partner. "Yes Ray . . . I'm terribly sorry that I woke you up. Please . . . go back to sleep. I'm fine now."

Ray stirred, turned around and mumbled. "Okay . . . night Fraser."

Fraser waited to hear the soft, slow breathing of his partner then laid back down. He didn't know what to think about the fact that he had an erection because of what his partner was doing to him. He convinced himself that the erection was an involuntary reflex due to the unconscious stimulation coming from his partner. But what bothered him now was that he still had an erection even after Ray had called him Stella.

**************************************************************************

And for the next few days they had a new routine. Fraser would arrive at Ray's apartment after leaving the Consulate and find Stella there dining with Ray or keeping him company and the two would joking and having a good time. She would leave as soon as Fraser arrived then Ray would spend the rest of the evening with him. Sleeping together still required removing the detective off him most nights and Ray would still call him Stella some nights.

****************************************************************

Early morning and Ray had Fraser wrapped up again. 

Fraser had a horrendous, painful erection and needed to get up but Ray wouldn't budge. Now he had no choice but to wake his sleeping partner. "Ray? . . .Ray? . . .Ray?"

Ray stirred and released the Mountie. "Huh?"

Fraser pulled away from him. "I need to use the bathroom. Could you please scoot over?"

Ray pulled away and Fraser got up. 

He went to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He winched as he reached into his boxers for his penis, preparing to pee. As of lately he had gotten in the habit of sleeping in boxers because Ray insisted that he should. But sleeping with Ray was getting to be too painful so he had decided that he would move out today. Ray was getting around easier now and besides he had Stella to help him out most evenings. She seemed to come around more often now that Ray was different. Ray's parents nor Stella noticed that Ray had no memory of them. And since he had no memory of them he did not harbor any bad feelings toward them. Ray was smart, he was a smart detective and knew how to be evasive and dodge certain questions that they threw at him. The doctor had not released Ray to work yet because of his amnesia but Welsh knew of his condition and demanded that he stay home. In fact only Welsh, next to Fraser and the doctor, knew of Ray's condition. 

Fraser was relieved when he emptied his bladder and the pressure had been removed. He glanced at himself in the mirror and noticed how tired he looked. As of lately he had grown to hate this arrangement because watching Ray and his exwife together angered him. There were many things about the woman that he just didn't like but seeing her hover over Ray would really irritate him. He was snapped back into the present when he heard Ray's voice.

"Fraser?"

Fraser washed his hands then headed out. "Yes Ray?"

"Are you okay? . . .You've been in the bathroom for a while . . . I mean, I don't wanna rush you or anything but it's barely four in the morning and dinner's not till six in this evening."

Fraser smiled and slipped back under the covers. "Go to sleep Ray. You need your sleep."

Ray smiled and reached over cupping the Mountie's cheek with one warm hand. "Yeh . . . I'll do that Fraser honey."

Fraser was stunned by the gesture. He hadn't expected Ray to touch him or to call him *honey. * for that matter. But the detective had dozed off soon after.

*****************************************

Fraser got up a little later then usual and hurried to prepare Ray's coffee before taking off. He was out the building when he heard someone call out his name. Whirling around he saw Attorney Kowalski leaning against Ray's car.

"Constable . . . I would like to have a word with you." Was all she said as he stepped up to him.

*************************************************************************

Ray stirred around in the bed then realized Fraser was gone. He got up and drifted to the bathroom knocking softly as he called out. "Fraser? . . .are you in there?" There was no answer. Ray knocked again then turned the knob. "Fraser? I'm coming in so ya better cover the priceless family jewels 'cause I might just snatch one."

Ray peeked in and didn't find the Mountie. "Hm . . . guess he took off ta work." Ray stepped further in and situated himself in front of the toilet to empty his bladder. He finished then ran the water to wash his hands and then his face. Reaching for the toothbrush, he noticed that Fraser's brush was gone. He glanced up to the place where the Mountie kept his shaving kit and noticed that it was gone too. "Okay . . . what's going on here?" 

*************************************************************

Hours later at lunchtime Ray called the Consulate and got Turnbull on the line. 

"So you haven't seen him today, Turnbull? Not at all?"

"No Sir, Detective Vecchio. But if you'll leave a number where he can reach you I'll be more then . . . "

"No, never mind. I'll just wait for him to call me later. Thanks Turnbull."

But Fraser never called. In fact Stella came to see if he needed a ride over to his parents and Ray refused insisting that he could drive himself over even though he didn't know the way.

Stella didn't want to leave him but she finally gave in and left. 

Ray waited another hour for Fraser to arrive then he called the Lieutenant and asked him directions to his parent's house.

*************************************************************

"Mum? Has Fraser called?" Ray reached over and kissed her cheek.

"No dear . . . Where's Stella?"

"She's in the living room. Dad? Has Fraser called?"

"Not that I know of. Barbara, has . . . "

"I already asked her dad. Well, when he calls tell him I'm already here so he won't worry about me. And tell him to hurry up and get here as quick as possible."

Barbara looked at him then looked away quickly. "Yes, of course dear."

Ray was heading out of the kitchen then stopped and whirled around. "Mum? Why didn't you invite Fraser to the dinner? He is my best friend."

Barbara glanced over at her husband who just looked away uneasily then she looked back at her son. "Well, it's not a secret that Stella doesn't like him dear. We decided that this should be the family gathering and we wanted you and Stella here . . . It's not that we don't like him Stanley but Stella . . . would be very uncomfortable having him here."

Ray looked to both of them then added. "Stella would be uncomfortable? Well, we'll see about that." He headed to the living room to find his exwife.

"Stella? Can I ask you a question? Why don't you like Fraser?"

Stella was looking through some CD's she brought over and stopped when Ray called out to her. "Excuse me?"

"Fraser . . . why don't you like him?"

She shrugged her shoulders then added in a distracted sort of way. "It's not that I don't like him, but it's just that he's so meddlesome. He acts as if he owns you, Ray . . . Or like he has the right to make decisions for you and your life without even consulting with you. The man is always looking for trouble and then he expects you to come and bale him out . . . He's always putting you right in the middle of his problems. I mean, where was he when you were chasing those criminals, Ray? Where was he when the truck hit you?"

"I'm sure he was around Stella. And you know he can't be with me twenty four hours a day. He doesn't tell me what to do." Ray settled besides her on the couch.

"Really? Have you stopped to consider why he's glued to your side now? The man's probably feeling guilty because he knows that if was his fault for getting you injured."

"What?! . . . That's not why he's with me, Stella! . . .He's with me because I asked him to stay with me. I needed help to get around after the surgery and he said okay. He didn't stay because he felt guilty. He did it 'cause the man's my friend."

"How do you know that he's not feeling guilty? Why can't he face me or your parents then? Why can't he stand there and look me in the eye every time I go to your apartment? Because he knows that he's to blame for what happened to you, Ray. He knows he's always to blame for getting you into trouble!"

"Stella, Benton's not like that. I'm a big boy and we're together 'cause we're partners. We're both, dedicated cops out doing our jobs. I know that what happened to me isn't his fault. I was doing my duty and he was doing his."

"So where is he? Why isn't he here with you now, Ray? Because the man probably can't face your family knowing what he did to you."

Ray shook his head. "Nah., that's not true . . . He's not to blame for anything so don't even go there Stella . . . He's my friend and he would never do anything to hurt me . . . I'll be back." He got up and started out.

"Ray?"

But he continued on out.

Barbara heard the front door slam and hurried outside. She saw her son getting into the car. "Stanley? . . .Stanley, where are you going?"

Ray was buckling up when he glanced over at her "I'm gonna go find Fraser, mum . . . he should be here with us . . . The man is my friend regardless of what anybody say's or thinks. What happened ta me is my fault and not his so I'll be back when I find him."

"But Stanley, this is our Thanksgiving dinner!"

"Yeh, I know mum. But I'm thankful for having a friend like Fraser and dinner wouldn't be the same without him. I'll be back." 

Barbara wanted to stop him but could only watch her son go. 

Stella stepped up behind her. "Ray's angry with me."

Barbara turned to face her. "He's angry with all of us dear."

********************************************************

Ray drove around in circles not knowing where he was going or where he was. He did know that he was in a lot of pain because the pain killers had already subsided. Then something occurred to him and he dialed the Lieutenant. Waiting to be connected he snapped at himself. "Dammit Ray! Why didn't you think about that in the first place?! Of course he would be there!" He finally found the Lieutenant and explained the situation to him. After a minute the detective did an illegal U-turn and hightailed back into town. Several minutes later he pulled up to the park and there he spotted the Stetson. He wouldn't have seen the Serge because Fraser was wearing a coat since it had snowed last night. He pulled into a parking space, parked then hobbled over to where the Mountie sat. "Fraser?"

Fraser whipped around and saw his partner coming up behind him. "Ray! What are you doing here?"

The detective plopped down beside him and grimaced at the pain that shot up his chest. "I've been looking all over town for ya that's what I'm doing here! Fuck . . . you sure make things hard on me . . . Where'd ya go after you left my apartment?"

Fraser looked behind him and spotted Ray's car. "You drove here? Where's Attorney Kowalski? Shouldn't you be at your parent's house having dinner?"

"Yeh and why aren't you there? I invited you Fraser . . . why'd you walk out on me? You didn't even leave a note or anything. I thought we were friends Fraser. That's not what friends do."

"We are friends, but Ray . . . I just didn't want to intrude on your family gathering. It was going to be awkward for all of us so I decided it best not to go. You should get back there. I'm all right. I was enjoying a nice walk and decided to rest for a while."

"Liar! Dammit Fraser, you know that's not true! I must've lost some marbles but I'm not that dense. Come on, look around you! It's freezing cold out here so whom in their right mind would go for a walk? . . .Look over there, Fraser . . . isn't that the place where I got struck down by the truck? You see that yellow streamer flapping in the air? That's where I landed when I was hit. Yer sitting here blaming yerself for this aren't ya? You think its yer fault, don't you?"

Fraser had been staring into those pale blues as Ray scolded him then he looked away. "Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not being ridiculous! It's you whose ridiculous! You weren't ta blame for what happened to me! I'm a cop and I was doing my job when I was struck down! I get paid to chase criminals 'cause that's what I do for a living!"

Fraser stood up and looked away. "Yes, but I was the one who should have been going after them. I was the one who spotted them in the first place and I should have been the one running after them and not you!"

Ray came up and stepped in front of him. "Oh God Fraser but that sounds so stupid! You mean ta tell me that yer blaming yerself for all this? I was the one that made a bad judgement call is what happened! I'm not blaming ya for what happened Fraser! You really think that I wish this had happened to ya and not me? You think that I'd want the truck ta hit ya and have you laid up in a hospital bed?" Ray was holding his side at the pain that was creeping in

"Ray."

"How can you even think that!? How can you think that I would wanna see ya hurt in anyway?! God dammit Fraser is that how the other Ray thinks?! I've just spent two whole hours looking fer ya in a town that I don't even know or recognize and you don't think that I care?! Not only that, I've spent all morning long worrying my ass off wondering where the fuck you went to when ya left my fucking bed this morning!"

"Ray please . . . "

"Please what?! Please don't hurt me anymore cause I'm already feeling guilty enough?! Dammit Fraser, but I've never even blamed ya for a thing in the first place so why are you doing this to me?! Why are you running away from me?! I'm supposed ta be yer damn friend! I'm the one who cares about ya or did you forget that?! I'm the one that's worrying my ass off wondering what I did ta make you run away from me? Wondering if . . ."

Fraser covered his face and cried silently. He had been holding back the tears since his partner's injury and now he couldn't stop them.

Ray was stunned and stopped talking while staring at his partner. He then reached forward and grabbed Fraser's wrist. "Fraser don't . . . don't do that."

The Mountie wiped his eyes with his gloves and cleared his throat. "I'm sorry Ray . . . P-Please forgive my outburst."

Ray gazed into the tear-stained blues then stepped forward and wrapped both arms around the Mountie burying his face into his shoulder. He stepped closer and mumbled. "I'm sorry Fraser . . . I didn't mean ta push you like that. I'm just scared . . . I need ya to be around me cause yer the only person I think I know . . . I just want ya to realize that I don't blame ya for anything . . . I need ya ta be my best friend Fraser. I need ya to be with me. I don't even know who I am, and Fraser, yer the only one who does know."

Fraser did not move. He was afraid to return the embrace. He was afraid of his partner's closeness because it made him feel vulnerable. Ray's closeness made him feel human, fallible and even weak. 

Ray stepped away. "Fraser, come on and let's go. My mum's waiting for us."

"No Ray . . . I cannot go there. Take me to the Consulate and you go and . . ."

"No! If you don't go with me then I won't go either. I'm serious Fraser." Ray stared into those moistened, sad blues. "Fraser, I need you to be there with me . . . I can't do this by myself. I've been worried half outta my damaged mind looking all over the place fer ya! You didn't even leave me a note and I didn't even know what I had done wrong."

Fraser shook his head. "You didn't do anything wrong Ray."

"Okay, then come with me . . . please . . . Unless . . . unless yer scared because I'm always climbing all over ya at nights trying ta bone ya?"

Fraser's eyes widened in shock. "You knew about that?"

Ray laughed. "Yeh, yeh, of course I did . . . but I couldn't help myself! . . .cause . . . it's cause you have such a nice ass Benton honey." Ray reached under and pinched his butt.

"Ray!" gasped Fraser.

Ray cracked up laughing. "I'm sorry! I was just kidding! Come on Fraser." Ray grabbed his hand and tugged at him. "Let's go home and make up, honey. I'll tell ya what I'll do . . . If ya come with me I'll even let ya have my share of the lumpy gravy! How's that?"

Fraser smiled, shook his head and followed his friend. He reached for Ray's elbow when the detective almost tripped. "Are you okay Ray?"

"Yeh . . . I did that on purpose so you could hug me . . . No seriously, Fraser, I think I need some more of those pain killers. You do the driving okay? I'll just get us lost"

"Yes . . . of course."

They buckled up and Fraser pulled out of the area. 

Ray glanced back to the place where he was struck down but had no memories of it. He knew the location because the Lieutenant had told him about it but he had no recollection of the accident. Ray took some of the pain killers to make the pain subside before they would arrive at his mom's house. 

***********************************************************************

Barbara and Stella hurried over when they saw Fraser pulling in. 

Stella glared at the Mountie when he stepped out of the car. "Is he okay?"

Ray wrapped an arm around his mom. "I'm fine . . . Nothing's wrong. Come on Fraser."

Fraser followed them as the women helped Ray up the stairs and indoors. 

Ray headed straight for the couch still feeling some discomfort and Stella sat beside him immediately.

Ray glanced up at the Mountie and patted the seat beside him. "Have a seat Fraser."

Fraser chose the seat across from him instead making Ray frown. 

Stella was already fussing over Ray, combing her fingers through his hair and caressing his face. "Oh Ray! We were so worried about you! Where have you been? You've been gone for nearly two hours!"

Ray smiled. "I told you that I had to go find Fraser." He looked away and called out. "Mum! I'm starving! Is the food ready yet?"

Barbara came in. "Yes, of course now let's all go to the table."

Stella got up and noticed that Ray was having a hard time getting up. She reached down to help him but another hand shot past her and took hold of Ray's hand. Stella looked behind her and noticed Fraser helping Ray up. 

"Thanks! Come on Stell let's go eat."

Ray walked off and Stella glared at the Mountie. 

Fraser stared back almost wishing she would say something. Then he went past her and followed after Ray.

They sat around the table with Ray and Stella on the one side and Fraser on the other. Stella glared at the Mountie and he glared in return. 

Ray noticed the tension between them but didn't say anything. The talk around the table was superficial as Ray tried to keep things light. Every once in a while Fraser corrected him when the details were a little off.

At one point, Stella finally had enough of the Mountie. "Do you mind?! I am talking to my exhusband and he of all people should know when he has a birthday!"

Fraser was surprised by her outburst and sat back into his seat. 

"Stella." Added Ray, a little annoyed.

"No. . . . I am sick and tired of that man talking for you, Ray! Every time I try to talk to you, the man intervenes as if he knows everything about us! I'm trying to hold a conversation with you but he keeps interfering!"

"Stella!"

"No Ray! I don't even know why you bother to depend on this incompetent man who doesn't even have a life! The man doesn't even have a place of work or residence for that matter! If one didn't know any better one would assume him to be homeless and . . ."

"Stop it, Stella!" Ray jumped up regardless of the pain but then doubled over. He straightened up, holding a hand to his aching side and continued. "You don't even know what yer talking about! I'm tired of you raking yer goddam nails into him!"

"Ray." Fraser called to him. 

Barbara turned to her son. "Stanley please . . . you're going to hurt yourself dear. Just sit down and . . . "

"No mum! Why can't all of you understand that Fraser is my friend! If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here today!"

"If it wasn't for him, you wouldn't have been injured, Ray!" snapped Stella. 

"That's not true Stella! Fraser rescued me! He has always been there for me! The man is my friend and I'm grateful to him for always being here ta look after me!"

"Ray please, there's . . ."

"No, just hold on a minute, Fraser! . . . He was the one by my side when I opened my eyes in the hospital, Stella! He graciously volunteered ta stay with me at the hospital and then at home, so how can you blame him?! How can you sit there and point fingers when? . . . !"

"Stanley, dear . . . please! Calm down!" begged his mother.

Damien just looked on. 

But Ray continued. "Well, I'm tired of all of you trying ta blame Fraser for my accident! This is some Thanksgiving dinner isn't it?! All of you should be thankful fer. . . ."

"Ray." Fraser interrupted.

"Wha-at! Whadda ya want Fraser!"

"Could you please pass the gravy?"

Stella and Ray stared at him with an unbelieving look in their faces.

Ray held his breath for a second, smiled and then cracked up laughing as he sat back down and grabbed the gravy dish. "Oh God Fraser! . . Here you go. Take it all!"

Stella was furious and stood up. "Okay, I've had more then enough of this! I'm leaving."

Ray reached over and grabbed her wrist. "No yer not . . . Don't go, Stella. Come on . . . my mum went to a lot of trouble to make this dinner. Please stay."

She hesitated for a split second then sat back down. "Fine . . . but I'm only doing this for your mother Ray."

Barbara smiled then took her seat.

Ray nodded. "That's fine." He glanced over at the Mountie then reached under the table and kicked him. 

Fraser smiled and continued with his dinner. Seconds later he stopped eating and looked over at his partner who was now grinning at him. He could feel Ray's foot inching up his leg then back down and it shocked him. 

Ray noticed the look in the Mounties face and cracked up laughing.

Fraser reached under the table and pushed Ray's foot away while Ray laughed on.

Stella turned to him. "What is so funny now Ray?"

Ray tore his eyes away from his shocked partner and smiled at his exwife. "I was remembering something funny that happened at the office. Would you care for more gravy Stella?"

She frowned and gave him a puzzled look.

After dinner they all said their goodnights and headed to their cars.

Stella came over to Ray's car and peered into the window. "Ray? Are you going to be busy tonight?"

Fraser, who was in the passenger seat, looked away.

"Why Stella?"

"Well . . . I'd like to know if you would like to come over to my place for some drinks . . . if you're up to it?"

Fraser cleared his throat and added. "He's taking medication."

Stella became angry. "I wasn't talking to you? Are you his nurse? So Ray . . . will you come?"

Ray smiled. "Sure . . . I'll be over in an hour. See you then."

Stella smiled, glanced over at the Mountie and sneered at him before retreating.

Fraser watched her go wishing that she would fall flat on her face. Thinking un Mountie like thoughts.

**************************************************

Ray drove away then glanced over at the Mountie who was staring at him. "Yer mad with me right? You think that I shouldn't go?"

Fraser looked out the side window then up ahead. "It's not a good idea for you to go, Ray because you don't even know who she is let alone who you are. . . .But it doesn't matter what I think because you'll do whatever pleases you anyway."

"Fraser, how can I say no ta getting laid? As far as I'm concerned I haven't had sex in what seems a million years since I can't recall the last time and . . . Hey, why don't ya stay at my place tonight. You can . . ."

"No thank you. I have to be up early so if you can drop me off at the Consulate I'd be grateful."

"Fraser, don't be angry with me . . . I don't want you to be angry with me."

The Mountie looked away. It was hard not to be angry with his partner after seeing him suffer with his exwife in the past year and now he was going back for more.

"Fraser please . . . come on be happy fer me . . . be my friend."

Fraser looked at him and added. "I am being your friend Ray. What else could I be?"

Ray glanced at him then looked away. "I dunno, but you don't sound ta friendly."

****************************************************

Fraser was in a deep sleep when he thought he heard the phone ringing. He opened his eyes and glanced over at the clock that was flashing its red numbers and mumbled. "Three a.m." He answered the telephone. "Hello?"

"Fraser? . . . Is this you?"

He could barely make out the voice because it sounded so hoarse and strained. The Mountie wiped at his eyes. "Ray?"

"Fraser . . . I'm in trouble." Ray murmured.

Fraser came awake quickly and sat up when he heard the fear in Ray's voice. 'Ray? Are you all right?"

"Well, in a way, yeh . . . Could you . . . if yer not too angry with me could you come over and get me Fraser?"

Fraser could barely make out Ray's voice because he sounded so far away, so distant. He sounded like his mouth was stuffed with cotton. "Come and get you? You mean from Attorney Kowalski's apartment?"

"No. . . . we had an argument 'cause I couldn't remember her birthday, or our wedding day and then she found the picture and . . . " 

Fraser heard a sniffle then Ray's voice again.

". . .never mind, just come over 'cause . . . 'cause I'm lost, Fraser."

Fraser barely made out everything that he was saying but was up quickly. "Lost? What do you mean by lost, Ray? Ray, speak up because I can barely hear you."

There was silence on the other end.

"Ray? . . .Ray, are you there? . . .Ray, you're frightening . . ."

"I mean, that I don't know where fuck I'm at and I don't even know how to get home!" The detective was now hysterical. "I know it's sound stupid but I can't remember where to go or how ta get ta my place! I'm a fucking, stinking detective right smack in the middle of Chicago and I don't even know how ta get to my fucking home, Fraser!"

The fear in his partner's voice and the anger alarmed the Mountie. "Ray, just calm down and look at your surroundings . . . Just give me a description of the streets or the stores around you and I'll be right over. I'll take a cab to come get you, Ray. . . . Ray, did you hear me?"

There was silence at first and then he heard sniffling.

"Ray? Are you crying?"

"Yeh . . . Oh god Fraser, I've never felt so helpless in my entire life! . .I feel like a fucking idiot! If I wasn't such a coward I'd pull my gun out and shoot myself!"

Fraser gasped. 

"I need you, Fraser! . . .I hate being like this! Please! Please, I've been driving around fer hours and it's so cold and I'm so lost and I'm sorry if yer pissed at me and . . . and. ."

"Ray! Ray, just calm down and tell me where to find you . . . I'll be on my way just as soon as you tell me where to find you. Please Ray!"

Ray, through his tears, gave him directions as best he could.

Fraser dressed quickly then rushed out of the Consulate like a bat out of hell.

**************************************************

Fraser spotted the GTO and told the cab driver to pull over. He paid the driver then sprinted over to the car where he noticed Ray sitting on the hood of it. Fraser noticed the snow on his partner's shoulders and cap and it nearly broke his heart watching him sit there. Fraser could see him shaking and trembling as he neared. 

As soon as Ray spotted Fraser he hopped off the car and ran over to him flinging his arms around the Mountie. "Oh God, Fraser! Thank goodness that you came!" He buried his face into Fraser's chest and let his tears flow again.

The sight of Ray crying touched the Mountie deeply and this time he wrapped his arms around his partner's small trembling body trying to shield him. "It's okay, Ray. Let's get back into the car so that I can take you home. Come on because you're trembling so badly."

But Ray refused to move because now he was afraid to let go. Ray was afraid to release his friend and the protection and warmness that he offered.

"Ray? . . .Ray, everything's going to be fine. Let's go home."

Ray shook his head and wailed. "No. . . . no, nothing's gonna be fine Fraser . . . I got lost . . . And I don't even know who the fuck I am! Only you know who I am." He gazed up at the Mountie and through tear-stained cheeks he murmured. "You do know who I am, don't you?"

Fraser gazed into those sad, confused eyes and felt his own tears sting his eyes. He cupped Ray's face and nodded. "Of course I know who you are, Ray. And you are going to be fine because I'm going to make sure that you are. Now come and let me get you home and into some warm clothes."

Ray nodded and then released the Mountie. "Thanks Fraser . . . yer a great buddy."

"So are you, Ray."

"Fraser?"

"Yes?"

Ray reached forward and pressed his lips to the startled Mountie's lips. He noticed the shocked look on Fraser's face and smiled. "I'm sorry . . . but when I saw ya . . . I was so happy that I wanted to grab ya and kiss ya for coming ta my rescue. Don't let my kiss offend ya okay? It's supposed ta be a compliment." 

Fraser was stunned. He hadn't expected his partner to kiss him. "I. . . .I. . . you could've just thanked me."

Ray shivered then turned away and muttered over his shoulder. "I just did Fraser." And he hurried to the car. 

The kiss really threw him for a curve. Fraser wanted to cry. He didn't want to accept the fact that he was in love with Ray. He didn't want to confront what his heart had been nagging at him for a very long time now. He wanted to bury that feeling way down deep in the recesses of his heart where he had kept it for so long but now it was too late. Ray had just unearthed his hidden feelings with just one kiss and Fraser shook his head sadly feeling sorry for himself. 

Seconds later Ray slipped into the passenger seat and Fraser dropped into the driver's seat. He could hear Ray's teeth shattering and turned to look at him. The detective was beautiful. He looked like a bewildered, lost, schoolboy and he looked beautiful.

Ray reached over and started fussing with the heater in the car. 

They drove in silence for a while until Ray's teeth stopped with the clicking noises. Ray turned to his friend and mumbled. "I got lost Fraser . . . I got upset with her and I stormed off and I got lost. How stupid can that be? I drove around for two hours looking for my place and I couldn't find it and I feel so stupid!"

Fraser shook his head. "Don't Ray . . . you must remember that you had a severe head injury. You can't blame yourself. It was very dark and the snow doesn't help much and you were upset."

"Nah. Fraser . . . How many people do ya know that would get lost in their own back yard? You can't imagine how scary this is . . . I was so scared that I was never gonna be able ta find home. . . .Or . . . or find you."

Fraser glanced over at him as the detective hung his head down sadly. He wanted to reach over and touch his partner and tell him that everything would be fine. He wanted to wrap his arms around Ray and protect him from every thing and everyone. Protect him, especially from his exwife.

"Fraser?"

"Yes Ray?"

"I thought that maybe you'd still be pissed at me for going off with Stella and not . . . not come fer me and I got scared . . . that's why I drove around for hours trying ta decide if I should call ya or not . . . I thought that you . . . that you hated me."

Fraser turned to look at his partner. "Ray! I could never hate you! How could you think that I would hate you after what we've been through? Oh Ray . . . I will always be here for you."

Ray turned away as the tears stung his eyes again. He didn't want Fraser to see him crying.

But Fraser didn't have to see the tears. He could hear the muffled sobs and the ragged breathing and his heart ached. 

************************************************

Fraser followed Ray up the stairs and into his apartment. He made sure that the detective took a warm shower so that he wouldn't get sick and maybe the shower would also rid him of the chills and shivering. The Mountie fixed some hot coffee while his partner showered and then waited on the bed with a cup in hand for Ray. 

Ray stepped out of the bathroom wrapped in two large towels and his skin was as red as a lobster. Judging by the steam escaping the bathroom and the dark red skin Fraser knew that Ray had taken a really hot shower.

Fraser offered him the coffee.

Ray smiled and took the cup in both hands.

Fraser then got busy preparing Ray's bed, pulling back the sheets so that the detective could climb in.

Ray took a sip of the coffee and watched as Fraser took it from him and pointed to the bed. "Go on and get into the bed and I'll hold your coffee."

Ray nodded then dropped the towels and smiled. 

Fraser's eyes were drawn to the white boxers that Ray wore with the red lip designs all over them. 

He then raised an eyebrow as he looked at the detective.

Ray flicked a hand and smiled. "Just don't ask 'cause I don't even remember where they came from. They must've been a present or something." He climbed into the bed and covered up then he looked over at the Mountie. "Hey . . . I'm sorry about the whole thing. . . . 'Cause now I feel so stupid."

Fraser sat by him and handed him the coffee. He looked up at the wild, untamed spikes and wanted to reach over and brush them down. Then he caught those pale blues staring at him and he shook his head."You are not stupid Ray. It's perfectly understandable that you got lost because you were upset. You're still trembling? . . .Drink the coffee."

Ray couldn't stop his body from shivering. He tried to sip the hot coffee and nearly spilled it.

Fraser took it from him. "Let it cool down some so you can drink it . . . Do you want me to get you another blanket?"

"No, I want you to get me warmed up! It's so cold in here!"

Fraser nodded. "Well, let me see what I can do." He tucked the blankets in all around his partner but he could still feel the bed shaking as Ray trembled. So he decided to use a different approach. He pulled his boots off followed by the sweater and slipped under the covers. 

Ray was watching his partner undress, confused with what he was doing until Fraser was scooting up to him.

Fraser stopped and looked up at his partner. "Ray? Would it be permissible to touch you?"

Ray was shivering and nodded. "Yeh . . . I guess so. I mean if you want ta."

Fraser pushed the sheets away and closed the distance between them. He snaked an arm around his partner's waist and pulled him in.

"Fraser?! Are you gonna . . . what are you doing?"

"I've found that body heat works better then blankets or your electric heater so just lay down and relax, Ray."

Ray nodded then backed up into his partner's warm body. He felt Fraser envelope him in his arms and the relief was instantaneous. Fraser's body was warm and soft in a different sort of way and his arms were a nice safeguard.

"Thanks Fraser. This sure is warm."

"You're welcome Ray."

"Fraser . . . Can I tell ya something? . . .There's something that ya need ta know."

Fraser pressed his face into his partner's soft hair and whispered. "And what is that?"

"I need ta tell you what happened tonight . . . about what happened between Stella and me."

"Uh . . . no Ray . . . I'd rather you not tell me if you don't mind."

Ray reached over and grabbed the hand that had made its way to his upper arm and pulled it around his waist holding his partner securely. "But I hafta tell you 'cause it's important. I went out with Stella this evening because she looked like she'd be an . . . an easy lay. I mean, if I was married ta her in the past then one would assume that we slept together at some point, only I don't remember it. Anyway . . . I thought it wouldn't hurt ta go ta her place even though I didn't even know who she was and. . . ."

"Ray."

"No wait. Lemme explain this please. We were in bed and . . . "

Fraser pulled away from him. "Ray. I do not want to hear about you and your exwife please! You don't seem to understand how I feel about her. I.. . . I cannot stand the woman. There, now you know."

Ray gazed into those angry blues and nodded. "Fraser . . . I know that ya hate her and that's all-right cause I'm not saying you can't. . . . Please lay back down. I wanna tell you what happened . . . please."

Fraser stared at him then laid back. 

Ray noticed that Fraser didn't want to touch him any more and it disappointed him. He took a deep breath and continued. "Anyway . . . we were about to have sex when. . . ."

"Ray!" Fraser was up again but this time he was off the bed and grabbing his sweater.

Ray jumped out of the bed and snatched the sweater away from him. "No! I wanna explain something ta ya and I need fer ya ta listen to me 'cause it's important! Okay . . . I'll skip the details but I need for ya to hear me out, Benton! Please get inta the bed . . . You don't hafta be near me if you don't wanna but at least hear what I hafta say! . . .I'm cold and . . . please, Benton!"

Fraser was glaring at him now. He was angry and he was hurt.

Ray was shivering again but he wouldn't lie down. "Fraser, please! Stella and I didn't have sex because we got into a fight! And if we had I wouldn't hurt ya by telling ya the details! Now, please listen to me. Cause I gotta tell you this!"

Fraser breathed deeply then sat on the bed because he couldn't stand watching Ray shivering. He raised the covers for his partner to get in.

Ray slipped under the covers then waited for Fraser to join him.

The Mountie slipped under the covers also but kept his distance. 

Ray understood that Fraser was angry so he didn't bother touching him. "Okay . . . Now hear me out and please don't jump again. Stella and I were pretty intimate when she told me that the two of you had a fight the day that you left my apartment. Can you imagine that? We were right smack in the middle of foreplay and we almost . . . anyway, she blurts out that she got into a fight with you about my accident. She informed me, and happily I might add, that both of you had it out in the parking lot and that she told you that she held you responsible for the accident. Then she went as far as ta tell me that she convinced my mum to keep you away from the dinner. Now . . . what I wanna know is how come you didn't tell me about the fight? You just walked out on me and you didn't tell me that she ran you away." Ray was up on his elbow and glaring down at the Mountie.

Fraser looked at him then up at the ceiling. "I didn't tell you because it was irrelevant to your recovery Ray."

"Fraser! . . .Look at me! . . .Thank you . . . Okay so you couldn't tell me that she ran you outta my place? I asked ya to stay . . . I wanted ya to stay and . . . "

"You also asked her to come around and you were doing much better Ray so I thought it was time for me to leave anyway. I had already decided to leave before she came and argued with me."

"Oh really? Okay, then why didn't you tell me that she slapped you? . . .You two were arguing and then she tells me that she slapped ya? She said she slapped ya cause you called her wench? What the hell is a wench?"

"No, Ray . . . that was not why she slapped me . . . She became enraged when I told her that I would do everything in my power to keep her from hurting you again. It infuriated her when I said that I would always be there to help and protect you even if she came back into your life. The only reason that I referred to her as a wench was because she called me a . . . a. . . . "

"She called ya what, Fraser?"

Fraser cleared his throat and blushed but did not look up at his partner when he said. "She called me a whore, Ray. So I told her that I was not the wench that she was and then she slapped me."

Ray stared at the Mountie who refused to look him in the eye. Fraser looked flustered, shamed and felt pretty much abashed. Ray felt for him. He didn't know what kind of exwife he had but she didn't seem too friendly concerning his best friend. "Fraser . . . yer not a whore so don't you believe it fer a minute. I think I know you well enough ta say that . . . you should've told me about the argument . . . I needed ya here and I didn't understand why you left me . . . you could've saved us both a lot of grief. I almost slept with her . . . but . . . you should've told me."

Fraser glanced over at the blond-haired detective and whispered. "I'm sorry Ray . . . I didn't mean to come between you and your exwife and . . . thank you for saying that I'm not . . . that I'm not like that."

Ray frowned. "Didn't you hear what I just said? You didn't come between anything! You of all people should know that there's nothing between this woman and me. But you should've come to me about the argument . . . I don't remember what kind of relationship you and I had but I'd hope we were friends enough ta talk things out. . . .Aren't we?"

Fraser nodded. "Yes, we are good friends, Ray."

Ray reached out and cupped the Mountie's chin and lifted until dark blues met light blues. Then he added. ""Thank you, Fraser. Thank you for being here for me . . . But there's more ta this story . . . 

Lemme tell you what pissed her off the most. Yer gonna get a laugh out of this one." Ray released his chin. "She found a photo in my wallet. It's a photo of you sitting on the edge of my desk. You wanna know how she found it? We were arguing and I was putting my pants back on when I asked her to throw my wallet over ta me. The wallet was on her night stand beside her. She picked up the wallet and was getting ready to fling it at me when it fell open and guess whose photo just happened to jump out? It was you dressed in yer serge and smiling happily at the camera. Then you know what she did? She had the audacity ta pull the photo out of its sleeve because she was gonna tear it up until she saw the inscription on the back."

"Where did you get the photo and what did it say?"

"I didn't know where I got it from. I mean that I didn't remember until later when I read the back."

"What did it say?"

"Hold on a minute and I'll show it ta ya then you can reach yer own conclusions" Ray fumbled through his wallet then removed the photo. "Here you go, now read it."

Fraser took the photo of himself from Ray then flipped it over to read the back. _"My dear most wonderful, lover!"_ he raised an eyebrow at his partner and then continued. _"Keep this photo next to your heart where I belong. Working companion by day but lover by night is the only reason I live for . . . I'll love only you forever! Love_ . . . _Constable Benton Fraser . . . RCMP_."

Fraser's eyes widened as he observed his partner. "Ray? I never wrote this and I never gave you this photo but that is my signature on the bottom . . . Where did you get this?"

Ray smiled as he gazed into those bewildered blues. "Well, that's what makes it so funny 'cause Stella assumed that you gave it ta me. Later after I left Stella's apartment, I remembered that I found it on Frannie's desk. She probably took yer picture when you weren't looking then made you sign it and then scribbled in the rest of the mushy stuff for herself. I remember taking it from her to play a joke on her and then I must've forgotten to return it. I also remember sticking the photo inta my wallet, right before the accident. But don't you see? I remember snatching the photo and sticking it in my wallet! I'm getting some of my memory back Fraser!"

"Yes, and that's a very good sign Ray but . . . But, now Attorney Kowalski believes that you and I . . . Oh dear."

"Yeh . . . she thinks that yer my lover . . . and boy you should've heard her yelling after she read it! I had a hell of a time trying to get it back before she could destroy it."

"Oh dear, but I am so sorry about all that."

"Hey, don't be sorry 'cause it's not yer fault. I'm the one who stuck the photo inta my wallet . . . But what I'm trying ta get at is that the reason I got disoriented Fraser was because I was angry when I found out that she kicked ya out of my apartment and slapped ya to add insult ta injury! Of course, finding this picture in my wallet and reading the back of it blew me outta the water too. I didn't know if we were lovers' or not 'cause you never told me. I drove around in circles trying ta figure out if we were an item and if that's why Stella hated ya until it finally came ta me."

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about the argument because it seemed irrelevant at the time. Had I known that it would've caused you this much distress then I would've opted to do it differently."

"I don't blame ya for anything, Fraser . . . I just wish you could've told me what was going on and not just walked out on me the way you did. Okay, let's get all over that . . . Now . . . to the business at hand . . . since we're lovers can I have sex?"

Fraser frowned at his partner. "Ray, that's not funny."

Ray stared at his partner then added. "But I'm not trying to be funny. You see, I've learned a whole lot about you and me in the past few hours and I realized that I need you in more ways then just to be my friend, Benton."

Fraser gazed into those blues and realized that the detective was being serious. "You want to have . . . to be intimate with me?"

'And why not? . . .Is there a problem with you and me being intimate? I really do need you, Benton."

Fraser sat up. "Well needing me isn't a very convincing reason for us to be intimate, Ray. You were just rejected by your exwife, you have memory loss and you're in, shall we say, dire need of sex so you turn to me? I'm sorry but I have to say no, Ray."

"Or is it because ya don't find me attractive?"

Fraser gazed into those pale blues that were studying him and added. "I've already told you once before that I found you attractive."

Ray scooted up a little. "You did? And what did I say?"

Fraser stared into those expectant blues and continued. "Well . . . if memory serves me correct, you didn't believe me."

"Why not? Oh, don't tell me that you said it while we were in the middle of sex? I bet we were pumping and grinding and then you. . . ."

"Ray! You and I have never had sex!" Fraser blushed a deep crimson red.

"We haven't? . . . hm-m-m . . . What a pity cause you have such a great body. So why did you tell me that you found me attractive and then you don't sleep with me? Do I turn you off?"

"Ray, this conversation is getting bizarre and maybe we should venture back to the topic at hand. We were discussing you and your exwife and . . . "

"We were discussing her, Fraser . . . that's the key word, *were. * Now we're discussing you and me. So now answer the question, do I turn you off, and be brutally honest here!"

Fraser gazed into those blues that stared deep into his. He understood that Ray was serious and demanded an answer. "No, Ray, you do not turn me off, as you say. But the fact remains that you have amnesia and when you come to, then you are going to regret this entire conversation with me. Now, could we move this to safer ground and talk about something else?"

"Yes, Fraser, we could do that . . . or we could do this too." Ray pitched forward and grabbed the Mountie's hand and placed it on his stiff erection.

Fraser gasped and pulled his hand back immediately. "RAY!"

"Oh come on Fraser . . . you know ya wanna do this just as much as I do. You said that you found me attractive and I find you extremely attractive so what's the problem here?"

Fraser was shocked. His heart was hammering in his chest after realizing just how serious his partner was about having sex with him. "Ray, we cannot do this. You don't even know who you are! What if you come to and realize what you did and then you'd hate yourself for it! I cannot participate in this Ray. Not as long as you are not in your right senses."

Ray smiled. "Aha, so you do wanna do it but not till I become the other Ray! Aw, come on Fraser, I won't regret this. I may not know who I was but I do know that I'm attracted to you and that I wanna have sex with you. I know that I want you."

Now Fraser shook his head. "You don't know what you want. Hours earlier you wanted Attorney Kowalski and now . . . no Ray . . . You're not sure about yourself or me and I refuse to be the second choice. The answer is still no. You're still not thinking straight."

Ray gazed into those dark blues for a few seconds and then dropped back into the pillow. Staring up at the ceiling he allowed Fraser's words to sink into him and then he mumbled. "That's a low blow Fraser . . . You really believe that I'm not thinking straight? You can't assume for a minute that I could possibly be in love with you? Well, I can, Fraser . . . Maybe the other Ray didn't love you and he was an idiot not to, but I do." He turned to face the Mountie. "You wanna know when I found out that I had fallen in love with you? When I was lost and alone and cold then I realized that I was in love with you. I sat in my car and cried my eyes out because I was scared but I knew, somehow deep in my heart, I knew that if I called for you, you'd come. No matter had I slept with Stella, or with any other person for that matter, you'd still come for me. Down in my heart I know that you love me too, only you won't accept it or tell me. But that's okay . . . I can deal with that." Ray stared into those blues that were staring down at him and nodded to himself. "Yes, I do know that you love me 'cause I can see it in yer eyes." He reached up and cupped the Mountie's cheek. "Fraser, there's one thing that I'm very thankful fer on this Thanksgiving day and that is that I got you for a friend. Yer a wonderful man and I'm a very lucky man ta have a piece of ya. Maybe when I come ta my senses, you can tell me that you love me too. I'll let ya think about it okay? But I want ya to know that you would never be a second choice, ta me . . . Never . . . Now, as horny as I claim ta be . . . I'm also tired and drained. I've had a long exhausting day and I'm gonna get some rest, okay?" Ray reached up and brushed his lips against Fraser's offering a brief kiss. He then turned around and covered himself.

Fraser stared at him. He watched the back of Ray's head for a while and knew that what Ray had said was all true. He was in love with the detective and he now knew that Ray was in love with him. Well, he at least knew that this Ray was in love with him but what about the other one? Everything was so confusing and so entangled so he decided to leave it alone for now. He could barely hear Ray's breathing and knew that the man was asleep already. Ray had exhausted himself and now he slept peacefully. Fraser reached forward and took him in his arms gently so as not to wake him. He then kissed Ray's warm shoulder and whispered. "I'm thankful that I have you in my life too, Ray. I'm even more thankful that you love me." He then laid down to sleep.

************************************************************

Fraser was on his way out the door early morning hurrying to get to work. He stopped momentarily in the hallway when he bumped into Mrs. Kowalski coming up the stairs. 

"Constable Fraser! Where are you headed too so early in the morning?" Barbara smiled.

"Good morning Mrs. Kowalski. I was just headed off to work. If you're looking for Ray, he's still asleep."

"That's all right. I was just bringing him some Thanksgiving leftovers. Could I give you a ride to work?"

"Uh, no ma'am. It's quite all right. The walk over . . ."

"It's no problem and it's on the way to my house. Besides, there's something that we need to discuss Constable Fraser. I would like to have a word with you if you don't mind."

Fraser smiled then nodded. "Yes, of course. Let me help with that." Fraser took the tin foiled plates from her then both headed back into Ray's apartment. She placed the leftovers in the refrigerator then checked on her son quickly before they both left.

***********************************************************************

Once they were in her car she headed to the Consulate. 

"Constable Fraser, Stella told me about the argument that she and Stanley had last night. She told me that Stanley stormed out of her house and that she was somewhat concerned about his state of mind. She was concerned that Stanley seemed to be experiencing some form of memory lapses. Have you noticed anything strange about him lately?"

Fraser didn't want to lie to her but he had also made a promise to Ray that he would not tell anyone of his condition. "Memory lapses? You must remember that he suffered that concussion, Mrs. Kowalski. I think that maybe he is suffering from stress due to the surgery and of course the fact that he might be frustrated about not being able to return to work just yet."

"Yes . . . you could be right about that. But it worries me. Why hasn't he returned to his job yet?"

Fraser glanced over at her then back down to the Stetson on his laps. "Well, the doctor feels that he needs more time to recover from the surgery. He could return and be placed on desk duty but you know that his heart isn't in paper work so he decided to wait until he can return to the streets." 

She glanced at him then nodded. "Yes, I think that you're right . . . Constable . . . there's one more thing I want to ask you. Stella told me about a certain photo that she found in Stanley's wallet. She said that you and Stanley were . . . involved. She said that the two of you are in a . . . a relationship?"

Fraser did not even look at her this time. He sat there and blushed while he fussed with the brim of his hat. He licked his lips then looked out the passengers' window and cleared his throat thinking of what to say. He then glanced at her as she waited patiently and he mumbled. "No ma'am. Ray and I are not romantically involved."

She glanced over his way and nodded. "I see . . . Well. I'm sorry to have embarrassed you. But there's something that I have to say also. Just by looking at you I can tell that you have strong feelings for my son . . . Am I correct in saying this?"

Fraser felt the heat rising up into his face. He tugged at the hem of his tunic's neckline then ran a knuckle across his brow and mumbled. "I uh . . . care for Ray very much yes . . . we discussed . . . that is, Ray said that he was . . . Yes, Mrs. Kowalski, I am very much in love with your son."

She did not say anything at first. She nodded then thought for a minute before adding. "And how does Stanley feel about you?"

Fraser could not stand the sudden warmth in his face nor could he stand the shortness of breath he was experiencing all of a sudden. He pulled at the velcro and the loud *ri-ip* made Mrs. Kowalski turn to look at him. 

Fraser pursed his lips and then he rambled on. "I'm sorry . . . last night Ray told me that . . . he told me that he was in love with me . . . But we didn't . . . we haven't been intimate because I turned him down and . . . I mean . . . oh dear, I didn't mean it that way. I'm not ready to . . . he needs to resolve matters with Attorney Kowalski before we can. . . . "

Barbara reached over and patted his shoulder. "It's okay. Calm down Constable Fraser because I'm not trying to judge you. I just want to know what is going on with my son. So what your saying is that you're in love with him and Ray might be in love with you but he's not sure?"

"No, Mrs. Kowalski. Last night Ray told me that he was in love with me and I believed him. Did, he. . .did he. . .say the same thing to Attorney Kowalski?"

Barbara shook her head. "No. . . . but she did mention something about the fact that they were in bed together when the argument started so . . . what is Stanley doing?"

Fraser nodded. "Yes . . . Ray told me about that. But according to Ray they didn't do much of anything but argue . . . Unless she had a different story?"

"No, that's pretty much what she told me. Forgive me for asking this but did you two have a quarrel and then did Stanley take Stella out to make you jealous?"

Fraser was stunned. "Oh dear. No, that was not the case. He went out with her hoping to. . . .Well, he still hoped for a reconciliation and then he had an argument with her and came home."

"To you?"

"Well no. I was at the Consulate when he called for me."

"So he was rejected by Stella once again and then he went looking for you? Pardon me for asking this Constable Fraser but did Stanley intend to spend the night with you after he left Stella's? You were leaving his apartment very early this morning."

Fraser looked at her then added. "By spending the night are you referring to my sleeping over at his apartment?"

She gave him a side glance and shook her head.

Fraser blushed and muttered. "Oh! . . .No ma'am. It was nothing like that, I can assure you that was not the case. Ray would never take advantage of a situation like that. He had a minor set back with his injuries so he called me to come over and assist him. We talked and later on he confessed his feelings to me. I don't think he meant to exploit me after. . . . I think he went out with Attorney Kowalski hoping to, pardon me, engage in intercourse with her, and then an argument ensued. And yes, he did call me after the argument and I did spend the night with him but there was no ulterior motive involved. In fact, Ray and I have not been . . . been intimate if that is what is concerning you."

Barbara glanced at the chagrined Mountie realizing that it took a lot of courage for him to pour his heart out and she smiled at him. She reached over and patted his shoulder again. "Constable, I love my son very much but a word of warning. Do not let the man use you in any way. Do you hear me? I have a mother's * feeling * that my son has serious affections for you but if I were you, I would want to make sure that he is over Stella. I am almost convinced that he does not love her any more even though he says that he does most times. But, lately I've noticed how attached he has become to you. He seems to be quite taken by you. Just be careful because I would hate to see you hurt in all of this."

Fraser smiled and nodded. "Do not worry about me ma'am. I can assure you that I am being careful."

Barbara pulled up by the Consulate then watched as the Mountie stepped out of the car then headed up the Consulate stairs. She pulled away and mumbled to herself. "Stanley Raymond Kowalski. What is it that you are doing?"

*********************************************************

The first thing that Ray noticed when he woke up was the note pinned to the pillow where Fraser had slept. He picked it up and read it. _"Dear Ray, I didn't want to wake you. I should be at the Consulate by the time you awaken. I'll stop by later in the evening. Should you be concerned of my whereabouts just call me at the Consulate. I made you some fresh coffee. Have a nice day, Ray. Sincerely Benton Fraser."_ Ray smiled then noticed some scribble further down. _"P.S. I am still evaluating last night's discussion. . . . Benton Fraser."_ Ray fell back into his pillow and reached over for his wallet. Pulling out the photograph Ray gazed at the happy Mountie in it. "You can evaluate all you want, handsome Mountie 'cause I still want ya . . . I don't know what was wrong with the other Ray but this one happens ta be head over heels in love with ya. Come to think of it. . . .I'm gonna go and hunt that Ray down and kick him in the head! Hmmm, now why does that sound so familiar somehow?!" He was getting out of bed when he heard the knocking at the front door. He slipped into some jeans then hurried over. "Mum! Whadda ya doing here so early in the morning?"

"Hello sweetheart. Did you sleep well?"

"Aw man, I bet ya Stella called you right? That's why yer here so early. Am I right?"

"Well, yes and no. . . . I brought you some Thanksgiving leftovers and . . . "

"And where are the leftovers? I don't see any plates in yer hands unless you left them in the car. I'm very observant about these things, mum."

"Stanley. I already placed the leftovers in your refrigerator earlier while you were asleep dear. Are you inviting me in or not?" she went past him and into the kitchen. 

Ray followed her quickly. "You came by earlier? At what time did you come by?"

Mrs. Kowalski prepared two mugs of coffee. "You made some fresh coffee? How nice. I stopped by early this morning when you were still in bed."

Ray panicked. "Oh? . . so that uh, that means that you were in my . . . you went inta my bedroom?"

She sat on one of the bar stools and patted the one beside her. "Have a seat dear. Yes, I went to your bedroom but you were sound asleep."

Ray plodded down beside her. "Was I. . . .When you came in was I . . . ,was there anyone with me?"

"With you?" Barbara pretended to think about the question as she wrinkled her nose then added. "Well, now that you mention it, yes. The Constable was here with you."

"Oh Boy . . . Well, give me a chance ta explain mum before you go and jump inta any conclusions! The only reason Fraser was in bed with me was cause I was feeling sick last night after arguing with Stella. I asked him ta spend the night just in case I needed ta go ta the hospital and I told him ta sleep on the bed with me cause the couch is kinda lumpy. Regardless of what Stella told ya, Fraser was here only because he was concerned. And if I was wrapped around him it was only cause I was cold . . . I get cold very easily and he has a warm body and . . . "

"Stanley . . . I didn't see Constable Fraser on your bed. He was on his way to work when I arrived and I gave him a ride."

"Oh."

"But now that you brought it up. I want you to explain to me what you think you are doing with Stella and Constable Fraser? Stella told me about the argument and about the photo and her suspicions about you and Constable Fraser. I must say that I am concerned about what you are doing Stanley. She said that you were acting very peculiar."

"I knew that she was gonna go and tell you her side of the story! Well, she doesn't know what she's talking about mum. The photo isn't even mine! It belongs to Frannie who works with us at the precinct. Stella got some stupid ideas into her head and started gripping about Fraser. You know she doesn't like him and anyway . . . "

"Stanley, wait. Wait and hold on a minute. Constable Fraser and I had a long discussion as I drove him to work earlier this morning. He told me that you confessed to him last night about being in love with him and . . . "

"Wha-at?! He told you that?! How could he tell you?! Yer my mum! What was he think . . . "

"Stanley please calm down! It's all right. He also told me that he is in love with you and . . . "

Ray jumped. "Hold on! Hold on a minute mum! Fraser said what?! Did you hear him say that?! Did you really hear him say that he was in love with me?!" Ray was gripping her hands hard and holding his breath.

"Yes Stanley. Now release my hands before you cut off my circulation dear."

"Oh, sorry mum. Tell me what Fraser said!"

"Well, he was very apologetic and shy and he blushed when he said something like, yes Mrs. Kowalski, I am very much in love with your son . . . or something like that and . . . "

Ray jumped up off the stool. "YES! YES! YES! I knew it! I knew it! I knew he would break down! . . .This is great! This is greatness! . . . Okay, what do we do now, Ray? How can I . . . Okay, listen mum?! . . I hafta go out and take care of some stuff. We'll talk later okay?. . .I'll explain it all ta ya later, okay?"

Ray tugged at her leading her to the front door. 

"But Stanley . . . I don't like how you are seeing both Stella and Constable . . ."

"Don't worry about a thing mum. I'm not two-timing anybody. I'll explain it to you just as soon as I can! Bye mum!" Ray kissed her forehead then closed the door behind her. "Okay, first things first Stanley Ray Kowalski! I'm gonna call Welsh and see if he can drive me around the city. I'm a good detective so it shouldn't be too hard ta track my memory down! Well, at least Fraser says that I'm a good detective and he should know. . . . Okay, Fraser buddy I'm gonna go and prove ta ya that the other Ray loves ya too! And if he doesn't well then I'll kick him in the head!" He made a dash for his cell phone.

************************************************************************

"Does anything seem familiar to you now, Detective?"

Ray slumped further into the seat in Welsh's car. He shook his head sadly and then looked down at his hands before mumbling. "No."

Welsh reached over and patted his shoulder. "It's okay. We'll keep driving until something looks familiar to you. We have all day now that you convinced me to be here."

Ray nodded then mumbled. "Yeh . . . but I want to get well now! I wanna know who I am now before it's too late . . . Fraser doesn't believe that . . . I need ta know now, Lieutenant."

Welsh noticed the discouraged look on the detective's face then started up the car. "Well, you're a good detective and I have confidence in you so we'll find you in no time. Now let's move on."

***********************************************************************

Fraser was a little anxious because he had been calling Ray's apartment all day long and no one had answered. He had even tried Ray's parents home and no answered there either. He stared at the phone and mumbled. "Just relax Fraser. Ray is all right. He does all right during the day because he can call the Leuftenant if he gets lost during the day. There is no need to panic. Wait a minute! I'll call the Leuftenant. He should know where Ray is!" Fraser dialed the precinct and was relieved that Francesca hadn't answered. "Hello, this is Constable Fraser and I am trying to locate the Leuftenant. Could you please connect me to his office?" 

"I'm sorry but the Lieutenant will not be coming in today. He had a doctor's appointment. Could I connect you to the? . . ."

"No. . . . no, thank you kindly. Goodbye now . . . Okay Fraser, now you should worry."

Fraser thought about who to call next. He picked up the receiver and dialed then hung up quickly. He shook his head then dialed again. The phone rang three times and he almost hung up when someone answered. 

"Hello. You have reached the offices of Attorney Kowalski and Attorney Samuels. How can I direct your call?"

Fraser hesitated for a few seconds. 

"Hello?"

"Uh . . . I'm sorry. I am attempting to locate Attorney Kowalski. Would she be in by any chance?"

"Could I ask who is calling please?"

"It's Constable Benton Fraser and . . . " but there was a click and then another line was picked up. 

"What do you want Constable Fraser, I'm very busy." 

Fraser recognized Stella's voice immediately and she didn't sound very happy to hear his voice. "I'm sorry to bother you but Ray was supposed to be heading over to your office earlier and I wondered if he had arrived already." Fraser lied and it had been very difficult for him to do so but he was really concerned for Ray's safety.

"And why are you bothering me with this? Are you checking up on him is that why you're calling me? Well the man's not here but now that I have you on the line I would like to clear up something between you and me. I want you to know that what you are doing is despicable! You may be gay Constable but Ray is not! I don't know what you did to him or what you told him but I want you to know that you are ruining a very decent man! And if you continue with this obsession of yours, you are going to ruin not only his career but his life! I don't know what kind of customs you practice up there wherever you came from but Ray was perfectly fine until you came into his life! And if you were any kind of decent man as you claim to be then you would put your pants back on and leave them on!" she snarled at him.

Fraser was appalled. Not only was he worried about Ray, he was tired and frustrated. He took a deep breath then grumbled. "Attorney Kowalski, had you been any kind of suitable wife to Ray then he would still be there with you. And as for my pants, you are misguided because they have not come off to Ray . . . At least not at the present moment and furthermore . . . !" He heard a click on the line, followed by a buzz and he realized that she had hung up on him. "Oh Dear . . . well that didn't solve anything and I still don't know where Ray is." 

******************************************************

Ray was furious as he held the off button to Stella's phone cutting Fraser off. She had been facing out the window when he had entered her office and she never even heard him enter. She whipped around quickly and was now looking up into those fiery, angry blues. "Well, hello Ray . . . are we going to argue just like the good old times?"

And those good old times just happened to crash back into his head at this very moment. Ray shut his eyes tight and grit his teeth at the onslaught of memories. His head felt as if a hurricane was brewing inside of him and he was suddenly drowning in memories of both good and bad times. It was like being struck by an avalanche of information all at once. 

"What's the matter Ray? Fraser's got your tongue?"

Ray opened his eyes and glared at her. He removed his hand from the phone and took the seat across from her desk. "What are you doing Stella? Why are you doing this to Fraser? You know you don't want me and if I recall you stopped wanting me many years ago. Don't you remember that we stopped caring about each other years back? You said you hated me and I said I hated you and we went our separate ways. Only I didn't hate you . . . My problem was that I couldn't stop loving you. I tried . . . good lord but I tried hard ta stop loving you but it was difficult. A funny thing is that I still care about ya even after all this time . . . Or maybe it's just the sex, Stell? It's still good ya know, whenever you lemme have it. When was the last time? Do you remember? I do. . . but then again, stupid Ray Kowalski always remembers idiotic things like the last time he had sex with his ex wife. It was a year ago ta be exact and it was great Stella. Fact is the sex was always great and. . . ."

"Is that why you're having sex with Fraser now, Ray? Because sex is always great, no matter where you can get it from? Were you that desperate and lonely that you had to go and find someone naive and just as desperate to have sex with you?!"

Ray flicked an eyebrow at her then he chuckled and shook his head. "Is that what you think? You think I'm having sex with Fraser? Now that's the funniest thing I've ever heard Stell cause you know what? I haven't even done anything with him . . . well, at least not yet Stell. But don't get me wrong 'cause it's not like I didn't try. Only he turned me down. He said he couldn't do it because of you. He was afraid that I still loved you and he would come second . . . can you imagine that? The Mountie has smarts' Stell so you can't call someone that turns you away, desperate or naive. But you know what I like about him? The Mountie's got a huge heart . . . a wonderfully, and huge heart and you know what? I just found out that Fraser's heart has my name engraved on it. You can't believe how remarkable this man is Stella only you wouldn't know cause yer ta wrapped up in yer hate ta notice."

"You're talking crazy Ray. Maybe that bump on your head did more damage to you then you realize. We're talking about Fraser. Big, Mountie, naive Fraser! The man couldn't even find the word love in the dictionary even if you led him to it, Ray."

Ray leered at her then shook his head. "The man's got more love on the tip of his pinky then you will ever have in your whole heart Stell. Why do you hate him so much? Why does he intimidate you?"

Stella sat back into her chair and grinned. "The man doesn't intimidate me, Ray. He infuriates me. He is making a big fool out of you and you're allowing it. That's what angers me the most. The way he strings you along like a puppet, his puppet. You used to be your own man, Ray . . . whatever happened? Wake up and stop being so desperate and needy for love and get a real life."

Ray watched her. He then shook his head and stood. "Look, it was great having this chat with ya but I do have another life, a real life ta take care of. I gotta go and convince a certain Mountie that loving and sleeping with a puppet ain't as bad as it looks. Didn't work out with you but being the fool that I am, I gotta keep trying right? And I'm being very thankful that I have him. Later Stell."

Ray strolled away and stopped when Stella called after him. "You're a bigger fool then I thought."

Ray turned to face her and smiled. "Maybe I am. But I'm a fool who's gonna get laid tonight by someone who loves me and that can't be all bad."

Stella grimaced then shook her head. "You're getting yourself way over your head Ray. This is a dangerous game that you're playing."

Ray smiled. "Love is always a dangerous game Stell. But he's worth the risk. Bye now." And he strolled away.

*****************************************************************************

Fraser was frantic. He left work two hours early and hurried to the places where he thought that Ray might have wondered to. He even went back to the accident scene but didn't find him there. The two hours had come and gone and he still couldn't find his partner. So now he rushed back to Ray's apartment hoping that maybe the detective had returned. He fumbled with the key Ray had given him and finally unlocked the front door. Rushing in he called out to his partner. "Ray?! . . .Ray, are you here?! . . .RAY?!" he hurried to the bedroom and it was empty. He rushed to the bathroom and knocked. "RAY?! Are you in there?" He swung open the door and it was empty. He turned to rush out and bumped right smack into Ray who caught him in both arms. "Whoa! You almost knocked me over Fraser!"

"Oh Ray, Thank God!" Fraser wrapped his arms around his partner holding him tight to his body. 

Ray wrapped his arms around the Mountie in return and smiled. "Hey . . . I like these kinds of greetings! I missed you too."

Fraser held him tight, panting as his heart thundered, so afraid to let him go. Burying his face into the detective's hair, he whispered. "Oh Ray, I was so worried! I was so scared for you! I called your apartment all day and you weren't there! I called the Leuftenant and he wasn't in the office either! I called all around and . . . "

"Sh-h-h-h-h. I'm okay." Ray murmured caressing the back of Fraser's neck. He could feel his partner's heart thumping between their bodies and the Mountie was shaking slightly. "I'm okay, Ben . . . I wasn't lost this time. I just had things ta do. Jesus Fraser, yer shaking."

Fraser was gripping him dearly as if holding on for dear life. He realized that he was being emotionally overwrought and he fought hard to get a grip of himself but he was failing miserably. He didn't want to fall apart because his partner needed him but he had never been so scared in his life as he was right about now.

Ray squirmed and whispered. "Fraser? . . .Fraser lemme breathe some. Yer squashing me buddy."

"Oh! I'm so. . . . "

"No! Keep yer arms around me and don't lemme go. You feel just great like this. You feel fantastic in my arms."

"Ray, please . . . You're misunderstanding the . . . "

"No, I'm not . . . I wanna hold you Fraser and I wanna make love ta ya but you won't let me. But at least lemme hold you."

"Oh Ray."

"Fraser, listen ta me and don't interrupt please. I've regained my memory. I remember who I am and . . ."

"Ray don't . . ."

"NO! I asked you ta please hear me out! I swear ta ya that I remember who I am and who you are! I went ta pick the Lieutenant up and we went cruising in search of my memory. He had an out of town appointment but he canceled so he could help me out. We drove all over town and even ta the accident scene and nothing would jar me back into my brain. We were at it all day long, checking out places, people, Diners, you name it and we checked it out and nothing happened. It wasn't until I paid a visit ta Stell and . . . "

Fraser pulled back but Ray tightened his grip. 

"No. . . . I stopped at Stell's hoping that just maybe she could jolt me back inta life. And I don't mean with sex, Fraser. I remembered that the last time she and I fought that it jarred some of my memory about me taking Frannie's photo so I decided ta give it a shot. Well you'll never guess who she was on the line with when I snuck up behind her? You were on the line." 

Fraser felt those fingers snaking through his hair and neck as Ray talked. They were touching and caressing him and now his erection was calling to him. The throbbing in his pants had started when those fingers first touched him but now he was getting harder by the second.

Ray pressed his lips to Fraser's neck and whispered. "When I heard all the shit that she was saying ta ya on the phone, I dunno but something happened up inside my brain and fireworks went off. Everything just rushed right back inta me and I remembered everything . . . Fraser." Ray ran the tip of his tongue up the Mountie's neck to right under the ear. 

Fraser shut his eyes tight, fighting back the urge to surrender himself.

"I remembered taking Vecchio's place and meeting ya for the first time when you returned from the Northwest Territories except I called them areas . . . I remembered asking ya if you found me attractive while we were at the Mausoleum waiting fer Ellery; . . . I remembered the bloom, close and kick 'em in the head swimming procedure that you taught me as we swam fer our lives; I remember the buddy breathing *kiss* and . . . "

"Ray, you do remember! And it was a technique and not a kiss Ray." Fraser tried to pull away but Ray pulled him closer and then gently pressed his lips into the Mountie's neck just above the tunic's hemline. He then licked his way up Fraser's earlobe and took it between his teeth nipping it gently. 

Fraser tried to back away.

"No, don't move Fraser cause I kinda like it right here where we're at. I like that hardness in yer pocket, poking inta my hardness."

"Ray." Fraser blushed struggling to pull away but Ray grabbed hold of his hips and rocked into him gently. 

Ray looked up to gaze into his partner's blues for a moment and then moaned. "M-m-m, Come on Fraser and don't pull away from me. I'm trying ta explain to you that I got my memory back and I still want ya . . . and God I do want ya in the most desperate kinda way . . . Fraser . . . I love you. I love you and I want ya."

Fraser was confused. He could feel Ray's hands sizing him up and down his back and then Ray was pushing forward. He was pressing his erection into the Mounties and pushing him backwards. They were doing a mating dance of sorts thought Fraser. Ray would rock forward into him and Fraser would take a step backwards until he realized that Ray was backing him up against the wall. 

"Ray."

"Uh, uh . . . no more talking." Ray reached up and unfastened the velcro from Fraser's tunic then stepped forward. 

Fraser stared into those enigmatic blues that bore into his.

Ray then plunged forward pressing his lips into the Mountie's. He found Fraser's lips to be soft and tender just like he knew they would be. Brushing his lips across Fraser's he waited for a response.

Fraser felt Ray's warm breath fan his upper lip and then the cool wetness where Ray's tongue had grazed his bottom lip making him moan. He then heard Ray whisper.

"I wanna kiss you so badly . . . Lemme kiss ya, Fraser. Tell me that you want me ta kiss ya."

Fraser knew that denying his feelings were hopeless at this point. The things Ray was doing to him just left him feeling weak and vulnerable. He wanted his partner in the worst way and there was no disputing that fact any longer. He sought Ray's eyes and whispered. "Yes Ray . . . I want you to kiss me." And he launched forward sealing his mouth to the detectives pushing his tongue in the minute Ray's lips parted. 

Ray crumpled into Fraser's embrace when he felt the Mounties tongue sweeping within him. His cock throbbed with every brush of that velvety tongue as it glided across his lips and then plunged deep into him. 

Cupping the Mounties butt, the detective rocked forward again then swayed when Fraser took hold of his tongue and sucked hard driving him crazy. 

Ray's cock begged for relief and he started pumping into Fraser, banging him into the wall. 

Fraser realized the desperation and need in his partner and he whirled Ray around, pushing him up against the wall now. 

Ray gasped when their lips parted for that split-second turn but Fraser's lips were on him just as quick again, smashing down into his.

Those soft, hungry, Mountie lips were devouring him, stealing away his strength and his sanity and then they were off him again but only momentarily. 

Ray gasped for air briefly only to be assaulted by those lips again as they fastened themselves to his neck. 

"OH God Fraser." Ray moaned and panted while trying to pump his rock hard cock forward but the Mountie pinned him up against the wall with body and lips. His hands were searching under Ray's T-shirt touching and feeling his skin until he found Ray's hard nipples.

Ray moaned when Fraser squeezed one of his nipples. He then felt the Mountie's thigh worm it's way between his legs and then up against his stiff cock making Ray growl with pleasure. 

"Oh God Fraser, I'm gonna come." 

Fraser's mouth released his partner's bruised neck and then he reached up cupping Ray's face in both hands. Gazing into those lustful pale-blues, the Mountie whispered. "Are you sure about this Ray?"

Ray was aching and hungry for his partner. He wanted Fraser. Wetting his lips, and he breathed out his response. "Yes . . . yes, I am sure that I want ya. Fraser . . . yes I am."

"Very well then." Fraser pressed his lips in hard once more then dropped to his knees. He reached for Ray's buckle then unzipped the pants and pushed them down stopping at Ray's thighs.

Ray could only watch while fighting back the urge to shoot his seed now.

The Mountie pitched forward pressing his face into Ray's hardness. Then he caught Ray's erection, through the boxers and growled. "Oh Ray!"

Ray threw his head back and shut his eyes tight fighting the urge to hurry him along. Both his hands had already lost themselves in the Mounties soft hair and were clawing at it gently like a cat prepping its bed. He was breathing through his mouth and then moaned. "Yes."

Fraser bit through the clothes nipping at Ray's cock and Ray yelped almost losing his load.

"God Benton!"

He then uncovered his partner's cock and wrapped a hand tightly around the erection in one quick move. 

Ray lurched forward into that hand then started to slide down the wall when his knees buckled but Fraser stopped him with a hand to his abdomen.

The Mountie looked up at his partner catching those half-crazed eyes and watched as Ray nodded at him.

The Mountie nodded then his tongue snaked out and swept up the leaking tip cleaning the seepage away.

Ray gasped and moaned as his body fought for more oxygen. His body then shuddered with each lick and he bucked forward when Fraser engulfed his cock. 

Ray knew this wouldn't last long because the licking was heavenly but the sucking was mind-boggling. 

Fraser was sucking him hard and swallowing him all the way to the base while those fingers were feeling and caressing his balls, rolling them gently. The Mountie was grabbing him by the hips and pulling him forward thrusting Ray deeper into his mouth.

Ray was panting hard trying to remember if anyone had ever deep-throated him like this before and then didn't care if anyone ever had because what Fraser was doing was too overwhelming.

The Mountie's tongue was sweeping up and down Ray's shaft, laving him generously and then Fraser was sucking his hot swollen cock once again. 

Ray couldn't stand it any longer and moaned loudly when his cock spurted its liquids out, while lurching himself into that mouth. "Oh God Fraser!" he cried as he came fast and hard. It took all his energy not to topple over his partner as Fraser lapped and swallowed his release. Ray could feel Fraser's tongue pressing against his cock with every swallow and he thought that he would explode again with the overwhelming sensation. 

And Fraser still had him pinned up against the wall.

The release seemed to go on forever and then it passed way too quickly as the Mountie made his way up to his face. 

Ray watched in fascination as Fraser's tongue swept across his lips, licking away any remnants of his pearly release. 

The detective slumped into the wall feeling dazed and wild-eyed as he gazed into the Mounties blues. His lips parted as he breathed through his mouth trying to contain the overload of exhilaration. 

Fraser reached forward, pressing his lips into Ray's while murmuring. "Ray . . . I love you."

Ray wet his dried lips and nodded. "Yes, I know . . . I knew that you did Fraser and I love ya too."

Fraser gasped when Ray clutched his stiff penis in one hand. "I really love ya . . . and I wanna taste ya. But not here . . . I want ya on the bed."

Fraser gazed into those blues and nodded while breathing hard. He reached in for another kiss before stepping away to the bedroom.

Ray pulled off his coat, stepped out of his jeans and slipped out of the boxers. The shirt covered his hardening erection as he headed to the bedroom after his partner. 

The Mountie stood by the bed waiting for Ray.

The detective didn't waste time as he stepped right into the Mountie's arms administering a deep-throated kiss. Pushing Fraser backwards they landed on the bed and Ray sprawled himself on the Mountie in no time. He was kissing Fraser hard while one hand was undoing the Mountie's zipper and the other was holding him down. Once the jophurs were undone Ray then snaked a hand in quickly and grasped hold of one hard, hot-to-the-touch Mountie cock. 

Fraser moaned into Ray's hair as the detective sucked on his neck. "Oh Ray." And his knees came up and fell open.

Ray released his neck and gazed into those sultry, hungry eyes then reached down for another tongue-sucking kiss. 

Fraser's body was now pushing up in rhythm to Ray's hand that pumped him. The detective then tore his mouth away from the panting Mountie's mouth and whispered. "I want ya, Fraser's . . . Oh god but I wanna taste ya." Then he made his way down between Fraser's knees.

Removing the boxers off Fraser's stiff penis he swooped down and swept his tongue across the moist tip. 

The Mountie uttered a guttural moan and bucked up into Ray's hungry mouth. 

This type of lovemaking was new to Ray. He had never made love to a man before but this was a man he was in love with. This was Fraser. He doubted that Fraser had ever made love to another man himself but today the Mountie had outdone himself. He had put that skilled tongue to its gifted use.

Ray wasn't experienced but he did what he liked to have done on himself. He pressed his lips against the hot mushroom head then slipped the tip into his mouth. He was swallowing Fraser's velvety-smooth cock and found that he really enjoyed his partner.

Fraser moaned and Ray loved it. He loved the sound of satisfaction escaping his partner's lips especially because he was the generator of that pleasure. He slid his tongue down that stiff shaft again and Fraser writhed and moan underneath him.

Ray couldn't believe how incredible Fraser sounded and tasted. The horny Mountie drove him wild with his cries and moans of passion and he reveled in Fraser's ecstasy making him hard again. The Mountie's cock was pulsating in his mouth and Fraser was moaning louder making Ray suck even harder.

Fraser stiffened then tried to pull away but Ray stopped him because he knew the Mountie was ready to ejaculate. He wanted to taste Fraser, wanted to savor inside of the man he hoped to make his for a very long time to come. Ray suckled harder and was quickly rewarded with the Mounties hot liquid that blasted out of him jetting into the roof of his mouth. Fraser came fast and Fraser came hard. The Mountie was writhing and moaning softly and Ray was enjoying everything about the whole event. He was delighting in the Mountie's moans, in his warm seed, in his taste, and in his love. This was much more then what he had expected because the Mountie was astonishing, he was perfection. Then he felt Fraser caressing his shoulder, beaconing him up. 

Ray let the shrunken cock slip out of his mouth and moved on up settling into the arms of the Mountie. 

Fraser embraced him, sought his mouth and kissed him hard before letting himself drop onto the pillow. He felt Ray shiver so he reached for the blanket and pulled it over Ray's butt and legs. "Are you still cold?"

Ray scooted up and rested his head on the Mountie's chest. "No, I just got a chill. Thank you Fraser."

Fraser smiled. "Why are you thanking me when it is I that should be thanking you."

"No, that's not true . . . you've been here for me through everything and I wanna thank you. I'm sorry that I hurt ya that night. I'm sorry that I ran off with Stella on Thanksgiving day when I should've been with you. Please forgive me."

Fraser ran a hand through the soft spikes and murmured. "There's nothing to forgive Ray. I still love you no matter what."

"But still . . . I was wrong . . . You and I belong together and I should've realized that from the start. Guess I had ta knock the marbles around in my head to get the information straight. But I got it straight now, Fraser. I got it straight and I'm not gonna let you go no matter what. I'm just counting my blessings and being thankful fer ya. I love ya Fraser." Ray moaned when Fraser wrapped a hand around his hardening cock and squeezed. "Oh God, I still want ya."

The Mountie then reached down and kissed the top of Ray's head. "I love you too, Ray."

The door opened and then they heard the gasp.

"Oh, my God!" Stella barked then pivoted and slammed the door on her way out.

Ray's head whipped in the direction of the door and then he jumped out Fraser's hold and the bed. He grabbed some jeans that he found on the floor and slipped them on. "What the fuck is she doing here! Stay here Fraser!" he zipped up the jeans then stormed out of the bedroom.

Ray found her standing by the kitchen counter clutching her chest and gasping for air. 

"How the fuck did you get in here Stella?! And what are you doing here?!"

She glared at Ray then snarled at him. "How could you do that?! How could you sleep with him?!"

Ray growled. "I asked ya how ya got in here!"

Stella was panting and trembling and then she barked "How do you think I got in here?! You gave me a key remember!? You told me to stop by whenever I had the time so that I could keep you company and . . . and to see if you were all right! How could you sleep with him, Ray? What the hell is going through that head of yours?!" her voice cracked. 

"Look Stella, what I do is none of yer business. You should go. I've already decided what I wanted, so just go."

She shook her head and then she yelled. "You bastard! I was worried about you! I was afraid that you were going to die when you were at the hospital! I wanted to be here for you, wanted to be a part of your life and now you're throwing me out?! How can you do this to me?! I thought we were friends, Ray!"

Ray stared at her then choked out a reply. "Friends!? I don't need a fucking friend Stell! What I need is someone ta love me! I need someone ta care for me and make love ta me and you weren't exactly throwing yerself at me in the past so don't judge me! God dammit Stella if ya really must know, I'm in love with him! I can't explain it ta ya but I just am! Just leave it alone!"

Stella finally managed to control her rage and her emotions. She knew that fighting with Ray was useless most times because once his mind was made up there was nothing that could change it. She knew that there was no sense in continuing the argument so she backed away. "Okay Ray . . . I can understand where you are coming from thinking that you might be in love with Fraser. I'm only trying to protect you and prevent you from making another big mistake in your life. And the Mountie is another big mistake in your life."

Ray smiled and scoffed. "Are you saying that you were my first mistake? Besides there's no way that Fraser could be a mistake Stella cause the man is perfect. He's perfect fer me. He's taught me how ta trust, how ta believe in myself and most of all how ta love. He can't be a mistake."

Stella stared at him then shook her head. "You're talking like a crazy man."

"No Stella, I'm talking like a man whose in love."

"And you're in love with Fraser and he loves you right?"

"Yes."

"Fine . . . Okay . . . I can see that nothing I say is going to change your mind. I can understand what you think you are saying. But what I don't understand is why you chose to love a man, Ray? Was it because of something that I said or did? Are you trying to get back at me? Was it because I made you so embittered toward women that?. . ."

"NO! It's so stupid that you would think this is all about you! I chose Fraser because he's a remarkable and incredible man. He's everything that I need and it just happens ta come in a man's package this time. He's amazing Stell but you can't see that because yer so blinded by hate. Now . . . would you please leave?"

"You sound like you're eager to jump back into bed with him." She grunted. 

"Well as a matter of fact, I am."

"Fine . . . I'll leave. But you do realize that things will be different for us from now on Ray."

"Yes . . . I do realize that. But I don't have a problem with that anymore. I'll be okay with it now."

Stella glared at him then shook her head and started out. 

"Stella?"

She looked at him. "What Ray?"

"Could,. . .could you please leave the key?"

She stared at him, removed the key from her key chain, dropped it on the floor and left.

Ray picked the key up and locked the door. Taking a deep breath he headed back to the bedroom and found Fraser sitting on the bed. The Mountie was already all buttoned and zipped up with every strand of hair brushed back into place.

He kept an eye on Ray as the detective approached him and stopped right in front of him appearing very solemn. 

"Ray? Are you all right? Should I leave?"

The detective reached down cupping Fraser's chin and then he smiled. "There's no way that I want ya ta ever leave me again, Ben." He then reached down and kissed Fraser's lips tenderly. 

Fraser returned the kiss, smiled and then stood up. He scooped his partner into his arms and gazed into those pale blues. "Are you sure, Ray?"

Ray wrapped his arms around the Mountie's neck and caught him in a passionate kiss. The deep-throated, tongue-dueling kiss was full of passion, hunger and desire. Fraser could feel his partner's tongue probing, tasting, licking every inch of him ravenously. Then Ray finally tore his mouth away to breathe. "Yes . . . Yes I am sure about you Fraser . . . I want much more of you."

The Mountie smiled. "How much more?"

Ray's blues shimmered and then a mischievous grin spread across his face as he cocked an eyebrow at his partner. 

"Ray?"

"How would ya feel about intercourse, Fraser?"

"I. . .I. . to be honest . . . I've never been sexually intimate with a man before Ray. Well, that is until you and I . . . but we didn't . . . "

"Good . . . I'll be yer first and you'll be mine. How's that fer a trade off?"

Fraser smiled. "Well that sounds like an excellent idea, Ray."

"I thought so too. So take off yer Serge and let me give you a happy belated Thanksgiving gift, Fraser."

The Mountie's blues twinkled when he grinned.

*********************************************

It was Ray's first day back at work and he was thrilled to be back. He was thrilled until he saw Stella leaving the lieutenant's office then she looked his way. He watched her approaching his desk and he leaned back. 

"Detective Vecchio . . . and how are you doing today?"

"Oh? So now it's Detective Vecchio huh? . . .well, I'm doing just fine. The doctor removed the stitches and gave me a clean bill of health this morning and said I could return to my job, so here I am."

"Well that's good news but I was asking more about your so-called romance. How is that coming along?"

Ray looked at her waiting for more of her sarcasm or off beat remarks but when none came he nodded. "The romance is doing just great, Stell. Thanks fer asking." He smiled.

She stood there and observed him. Then she added. "I had a talk with your mother about you and your new romance. The only thing that she could do was offer her condolences about our relationship not working out."

"Stella . . . I'd appreciate it if you don't talk to my mum about my relationships. Besides she knows about Fraser and me 'cause Fraser told her about it already. And as far as I'm concerned she's okay with it so just leave it alone okay?"

Stella glared at him. She then scowled and shook her head. "I don't know what happened to you Ray, but you really need to go back to the doctor and get your head reexamined. You are in dire need of medical attention. That hit on the head really messed something up inside and did some serious damage."

Ray chuckled. "Oh Stell, you'd be surprised about how much that hit on the head helped me. Besides, I'm so much happier this way."

His stubbornness exasperated her so much that she walked away instead.

Frannie walked past and scolded him. "Would you quit squirming and sit still?! I swear someone will think you have worms, Ray!"

Ray shot her a scowling look then went back to his files. It was difficult to sit still because Fraser had really let him have it yesterday night. Of course he had asked for it and the penetration had been great but today it wasn't so great. In fact today it was downright painful. He wondered if Fraser was having the same problem as he was. He hoped that the Mountie was at least as sore as he was because Fraser really enjoyed himself last night. The Mountie had rammed into his butt the previous day and today his butt was aching. Ray sat back trying to find a comfortable spot that wasn't too sore. He pulled out his wallet hoping to ease some of the discomfort then remembered the photograph. Pulling the photo out of his wallet, he then placed it on the desk before him and gazed at it. He beheld that beautiful Mountie face and smiled when he remembered that he too had returned the favor on Fraser's firm and tight butt last night. He just hoped the Mountie was squirming like he was today. Flipping the photo over he read the new inscription scribbled on the back of it. _"To the new Ray in my life. I thank you for the wonderful Belated Thanksgiving gift which consisted of sharing you. It was once said that * It is better to give then to receive *. . . .But not in our case. Sincerely yours_ . . . _Constable Benton Fraser . . . RCMP_." He glanced up when he heard his partner's cheery good morning to Frannie and tucked the photo back into his wallet quickly. Ray watched as the Mountie approached, smiling happily as if nothing bothered him which meant that the man had no pain and that bothered Ray. He murmured under his breath. "That bastard."

"Good morning Ray and how are you doing today?"

Ray smiled up at him. "Oh, I'm doing just great, Fraser . . . Just great, except fer this big severe ache up in my ass so how 'bout you?"

"Ray!" Fraser blushed. "Language please! I'm doing well myself, thank you kindly."

"Yeh, I can see that. Spreading that holiday cheer all around. Yer looking quite the cheery Mountie this morning . . . have a seat Fraser and let's get started on this."

"Uh . . . no. . I don't think that I would like to sit, thank you kindly Ray. I'll just stand here if you don't mind."

Ray glanced up at him and then cracked out laughing. "Well, that's good ta know! I thought I was the only one with the sore ass!"

"Ray!"

"Aw, come on Fraser . . . have a seat. Come on and humor me."

Fraser looked down at the hard wooden chair then over at his grinning partner before sitting down cautiously. 

The detective watched as the Mountie sat, adjusted his tunic, tugged at his collar then glanced over at him and winched. "Ouch."

Ray cracked up laughing again because he felt so much better already. "Fraser?"

"Yes Ray?"

"I love you." Ray whispered then blinked at him.

Fraser smiled. "I love you too."

Ray leaned in on his desk and whispered."Well, I love you but my ass is off limits ta ya until you learn how to take it easy. I'm not a horse ya know." 

"Oh Dear. And I did so enjoy myself last night. You weren't exactly gentle yourself Ray. And what does a horse have to do with this conversation?"

"Well, you really rode me like one last night."

Fraser blushed. "I'm sorry Ray."

"It's okay but I'm parking the saddle fer a few days. Okay, now let's get started on this paperwork, Frase."

"And how many days is that, Ray?"

"How many days is what, Fraser?"

"How many days do I have to wait for you to um, put the saddle back on, Ray?"

"Fraser! I may not be able ta sit down fer an entire week! I'm . . . I'm injured!"

"And I apologized to you, Ray . . . Again, I offer you my sincerest apologies and I will try to refrain from being so brutal the next time."

"Okay, fine. Now look at this case right here and . . ."

"So how many days is that , Ray?"

"Fraser! I mean, at least give me till tomorrow!"

"Well, I can do that."

Ray glared at him and then smiled. "We had a fantastic belated Thanksgiving, didn't we Fraser?"

"Yes Ray . . . we had a fantastic belated Thanksgiving and I'm looking forward to same tomorrow."

"You mean you want some more of that leftover turkey?"

"No Ray . . . but a saddled horse would be nice."

Then Ray cracked up laughing.

The end

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